ace-wg / ace-oscore-profile

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Nits from Ben's review #24

Closed fpalombini closed 4 years ago

fpalombini commented 4 years ago

@kaduk review of the document: https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/ace/rgVfs3dzcWQnNlXn331DdpQfwwQ This issue collects almost all nits from Ben's review (excluding 21. and 75. which require more information)

nit: [more usage of "Master Salt" for pre- and post-nonce forms] I'd also suggest to s/since/since even though the/ (and the s/but/the/ needed to fix up the end of the sentence).

nit: only the payload is using CBOR diagnostic notation; the headers are using CoAP notation.

nit: I suggest s/shared secret to construct/shared secret bound to/

nit: It's not clear that we need it to identify a specific token, just a key. (And in fact for multiple successive access-rights updates, there will be more than one previous token.)

It's frequently the case in IETF documents that "provision" is a euphemism for "out-of-band configuration", so if we mean "include in the token response" it's probably better to say that directly.

nit: s/in the OSCORE_Security_Context/in the OSCORE_Security_Context field/, I think?

nit: "metadata of the access token" sounds like it's trying to be a term of art, but it is not presently used as such. s/metadata/attributes/ would, IIUC, be more in keeping with OAuth 2.0 tradition.

nits: there's only one (not "these") identifier in the token, and nothing in the token response; and a similar remark about "provisioned" as was made above.

nits "a JSON object", "a CBOR map".

nits: "provisioned" again, and the RS is going to be generating a nonce from scratch, not deriving one from ... anything else, really.

nit: comma after "e.g.".

nit: I'd place the emphasis more on "in the access token" or even "from the AS" rather than "from the client" -- the RS/AS preestablished relationship is what authenticates these values.

(nit?) what is "the request"? I don't think we've talked about a specific OSCORE request yet, so this would probably be better if talking about generic incoming requests from a given client.

nit: I suggest "MUST respond with an unprotected [...] error message to requests received that correspond to a security context with an expired token" to tie it back to which requests are affected.

nit: comma after "i.e.".

nit: we should make the grammar of the list elements parallel to the client's list, so "the Sequence Number space ends." and "the access token associated with the context expires".

nit: comma after "e.g.".

nit: "This profile" singular.

nit: I'd suggest s/state/determine/

nit: s/Key map/Map key/

nit: I suggest "defined to use the Expert Review registration policy".

nit: comma splice