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ArthegaAsdweri / WoW-5e-RPG

Markup for the WoW5eRPG-document
GNU General Public License v3.0
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Proofreading - pg.4, Beyond 1st Level - paragraphs 1-3 - recommended changes #3

Open Findlelock opened 2 years ago

Findlelock commented 2 years ago

NOTE: words with strikethrough should be removed from the document. Words in code blocks should be added to the document

NOTE: Removed the examples from this sentence as the word crafting does enough heavy lifting that the examples are unnecessary. I removed the word can to strengthen the following sentence.

The rules in the World of Warcraft 5e RPG also include crafting sub-systems and classes (such as the Alchemist and Tinker), and various options (such as the Infusionist feat) that can directly translate wealth into character power.

NOTE: Reduced wordiness and improved sentence flow.

When creating a character from above 1st level, refer to use the following guidelines for to determine expected wealth for relative to player level to give a general idea how to keep characters on the same general level of wealth.

NOTE Replaced on with in. Removed one from one half for clarity. Removed the double use of the word cost.

Refer to the Item Creation Complexity and Cost Table on in Chapter 7 to calculate item rarity. Note that crafting an item costs one half the cost price of buying it purchasing an item.

Final version

The rules in the World of Warcraft 5e RPG include crafting sub-systems and classes that directly translate wealth into character power. When creating a character above 1st level, use the following guidelines to determine wealth relative to player level. Refer to the Item Creation Complexity and Cost Table in Chapter 7 to calculate item rarity. Note that crafting an item costs half the price of purchasing an item.

Findlelock commented 2 years ago

Let me know how you feel about this formatting. The provided content should be the same, but I've edited wording for clarity. Some recommendations may reflect personal aesthetic and can be denied if the old wording is preferred 👍

ArthegaAsdweri commented 2 years ago

Please make sure to state what the problem is. :) I'm not good at guessing.

Findlelock commented 2 years ago

Sorry for that! I've clarified the issue title and have narrowed the scope. The first half is my editing pass, with strikethroughs for words that should be removed and coding blocks for words that should be added. The last half is the paragraph post-changes so it can be copy and pasted into the XML document if wanted.

I'm struggling to figure out the best method for clarifying which sentence I'm referring to in the issue tracker. For now I'll use page + paragraph number but if you think of a better method let me know.

I'm going to spend some time looking through the GMBinder documentation this weekend so I can assist with the styling. My hope is we can split up responsibility based on chapter down the line so it's not all on you ; )

Love ya Arth, thanks for your work on this.

ArthegaAsdweri commented 2 years ago

Thanks! This is much better and very clear now! :)