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[Ruby] - 2021년 07월 15일 Thur. #649

Open hichunhee opened 3 years ago

hichunhee commented 3 years ago

I had a day off.

I met my dad in front of 국립병원 We had lunch. After lunch, my dad and I went to the hospital. There were a lot of people. We waited over an hour. We met a doctor. The doctor told my dad " The test results are not bad. So you can receive a treatment." After we heard that, we felt better. And my dad and I left the hospital.

I took a bus and I got off at Madu station. And I took the subway, line number 3. While I was on the subway, I dozed off for few mins. I came back home.

I was sweating because the weather was really hot. So, I took a shower. And then my son and I took the subway. We got off at Nonhyun station. We went to a plastic surgery clinic. We talked to the doctor. Around 7 pm, we had dinner quickly.

Now, we are on the subway. There are few people on the subway. So, it is quiet. We are going to go home.

Good bye.

shawn-hy1232 commented 3 years ago

Good!

  1. 'I met my dad in front of a hospital.' -> 어떤 랜덤한 병원앞에서 아버지를 만났다? 예를 들어 '병원에 갔다'라고 이야기를 한다면 어떠한 랜덤한 병원 한곳을 간것이기 때문에 'I went to a hospital.'이 괜찮습니다. 하지만 어떠한 랜덤한 병원 앞에서 만났다라고 이야기를 시작하는건 어색합니다. 이럴경우에는 그 병원의 이름을 말해주는것이 베스트입니다. 예를 들어 'I met my dad in front of 세브란스병원.'

  2. 'On hearing this, we got to feel comfortable.' -> Ruby가 확신이 서는 표현으로 바꿔보세요.

  3. 'We went to a practice surgery.' -> Rewrite it!

  4. We consulted with a doctor.' -> Rewrite it! 굳이 consult라는 어려운 단어를 쓰지 마세요. 같은 의미를 전달할 수 있는 쉬운동사들이 많죠?

  5. 'Around 7 pm, we had quickly dinner.' -> Rewrite it!

  6. 'Now, my son and I are at subway. The subway is secluded.' -> ??

shawn-hy1232 commented 3 years ago
  1. 'After we were hearing this story, we felt comfortable.' -> 'After we heard that, we felt better.' 여기서 요점은 과거 진행이 아닌 과거형으로 써야된다는 것이에요!

  2. 'We went to a prastic surgery clinic.' -> 'We went to a plastic surgery clinic.'

  3. 'Now, my son and I are at subway. There are few people in the subway. So, it is quiet.' -> 'Now, we are on the subway.' There are few people on the subway. So, it is quiet.'