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[강윤지] - 2021년 1월 20일 #69

Open jii0 opened 3 years ago

jii0 commented 3 years ago

Today, I took the last seminar class of this semester. A classmate left our seminar. The classmate is graduating. He is going to return to his hometown of Scotland at the end of January. I was sorry that I couldn't see him in person and say goodbye.

shawn-hy1232 commented 3 years ago

Good!

  1. 'A classmate left our seminar' -> 'One of my classmates left our seminar'

    'A classmate' is very vague. 'One of my classmates' is more specific.

  2. 'The classmate is graduating' -> 'He (or she) is graduating'

    'The classmate' just sounds awkward. Replace it with he or she.

  3. 'He is going to return to his hometown of Scotland at the end of January.'

    Again, you have to break up the sentence into smaller pieces. If you try to put everything in one sentence, it often doesn't make sense.

    • 'He is going to go back to Scotland at the end of January. That's where he is originally from.'