My printer isn't working

[wizzwizz4]

I used to be able to use my printer, but after coming back from holiday it doesn't work. Every time I try to print, a box comes up and even after I close it it still doesn't work.

[wizzwizz4]

The techs came, muttering something about 10T and peb cake. My printer prints now, but the colours are all wrong.

[emiln]

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

[anderejd]

Have you connected the power cable both to the printer and to the wall?

[wizzwizz4]

Of course; I'm not an idiot! The colours are wrong; it must've been something the techs did.

Speaking of things that don't work... @emlin You know HR, right? Well, apparently Travis has stopped working. Do you know how long it'll take to hire a new one? #399.

[emiln]

Thank you for your patience, wizzwizz4, in solving this tech issue. I just need you to find the cable that protrudes from the printer and follow it all the way to the end. If the printer has multiple protruding cables then you need to follow each cable. Please do so for all cables connected to the device and report back where they end and how they're connected at their ends. Are they plugged into any sockets? How do these sockets look?

I await your feedback so we can continue troubleshooting your issue.

[lifenautjoe]

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to say it’s my birthday today so I brought some cake down by cubicle 10F on floor 5 near the broken coffee machine.

Feel free to drop by for a slice.

On Fri, 26 Oct 2018 at 13:23, Emil Holm Nauerby notifications@github.com wrote:

Thank you for your patience, wizzwizz4, in solving this tech issue. I just need you to find the cable that protrudes from the printer and follow it all the way to the end. If the printer has multiple protruding cables then you need to follow each cable. Please do so for all cables connected to the device and report back where they end and how they're connected at their ends. Are they plugged into any sockets? How do these sockets look?

I await your feedback so we can continue troubleshooting your issue.

— You are receiving this because you are subscribed to this thread. Reply to this email directly, view it on GitHub https://github.com/EnterpriseQualityCoding/FizzBuzzEnterpriseEdition/issues/393#issuecomment-433376124, or mute the thread https://github.com/notifications/unsubscribe-auth/AMJb5QE66bcRGTJOh9DBa93ilOXAau4lks5uovCygaJpZM4XL_3_ .

[wizzwizz4]

@emiln There are two cables coming out of the printer. One is a grey Cat5e cable (according to the tiny tiny tiny lettering on it) and that's plugged into nothing. The other one's the power cable and that's definitely plugged in because the printer is on.

The printer prints fine. It's just the colours that are wrong when I print. Perhaps if I give the printer some of @lifenautjoe's cake it'll print properly again.

[morganbye]

I'm afraid that to get to the root of the problem, we're going to have to ask you to perform some further tests.

What happens if you print on different colored paper?

[wizzwizz4]

@morganbye The colours go really really wrong. I can't even see some of them any more.

Can I have some opposite colour paper so the colours will go right again? I don't know where to get that.

[claui]

Hey folks, I got some holiday pictures by email but when I try to print them out the printer only prints question marks. Please advise

[lifenautjoe]

Dear Claudia,

Are the question marks like this ? Or this ¿ . Juan has been messing with the language settings since the last week trying to print some of his daughters homework.

Merry Christmas, Joel.

On Sat, 8 Dec 2018 at 00:01, Claudia Pellegrino notifications@github.com wrote:

Hey folks, I got some holiday pictures by email but when I try to print them out the printer only prints question marks. Please advise

— You are receiving this because you were mentioned. Reply to this email directly, view it on GitHub https://github.com/EnterpriseQualityCoding/FizzBuzzEnterpriseEdition/issues/393#issuecomment-445391740, or mute the thread https://github.com/notifications/unsubscribe-auth/AMJb5SHvue3yat06TGxw5IaYs6gRJInlks5u2vM8gaJpZM4XL_3_ .

[claui]

Are the question marks like this ? Or this ¿

Yes, exactly!!

[wizzwizz4]

@cameronxm Your question marks need to be like ? and not like )EŁeł&ŁŁ® and they should be in a little box. Otherwise the printer won't work.

[Liu-Kai-1991]

Dear wizzwizz4,

Did you turn on the switch that controls the outlet on the wall? (The outlet that connected to your printer through your power cable)

Thanks, Kai

[wizzwizz4]

Yes.

[wizzwizz4]

All of the pages it prints are smeared in old, smelly cake. It doesn't work with the switch on or off.

[lifenautjoe]

Speaking about cake, my son just scored an A+ on maths and I’ve brought some cake downstairs to celebrate.

Feel free to come get some and happy holidays !

( Except you Trevor ! )

On Fri, 21 Dec 2018 at 11:29, wizzwizz4 notifications@github.com wrote:

All of the pages it prints are smeared in old, smelly cake. It doesn't work with the switch on or off.

— You are receiving this because you were mentioned. Reply to this email directly, view it on GitHub https://github.com/EnterpriseQualityCoding/FizzBuzzEnterpriseEdition/issues/393#issuecomment-449351464, or mute the thread https://github.com/notifications/unsubscribe-auth/AMJb5WmV9VPU9ixsDQhVDHBoBz8MeHEjks5u7LgdgaJpZM4XL_3_ .

[wizzwizz4]

@lifenautjoe Thanks! I'm going to feed some more to my printer as an incentive to work again.

[stestagg]

Hi @wizzwizz4

What has happened is that the inks dried out during your holiday. The initial technician re-activated the printer but didn’t manage to hydrate the inks again.

As the support staff are currently all nursing hangovers, you’ll have to perform the steps yourself to fix the printer colours.

1. Find the power cable for the printer
2. Unplug the power cable at the printer end
3. Dip the end of the cable in a large glass of water
4. Remove cable end from water and immediately re plug into the printer
5. The printer wills start the re-hydration process immediately. (There may be some smoke produced as the inks liquify again)

P.s. we’re doing some power tests over the next few days, if the lights go off during this process, please wait for them to come back on before re-trying

[lifenautjoe]

Instructions still unclear @stestagg . Could you write a draft for a manual and schedule a meeting for review with the entire department?

Cheers.

• Sent from my iPhone in the Caribbean

[wizzwizz4]

@stestagg I accidentally dipped it in "methylated spirit" by mistake, so I waited for it to dry, dipped it in some water I found and then plugged it in. Will this be OK? It still prints funny.

Also, when are you doing the tests?

[wizzwizz4]

@lab Hope you don't mind I borrowed your water and stuff for a bit. It was closer than my water. I put it back afterwards, though it might be a bit mixed up.

[claui]

@lifenautjoe The printer manual review meeting has been adjourned indefinitely because we couldn’t agree on whether it’s “liquefy” or “liquify.”

[stestagg]

@claui come on, this is getting ridiculous!

The corporate spelling SOP clearly states on on page 803 that it's liquify, unless an approved exemption form from the compliant spelling board has been filed at least 5 working days before the incident.

I'm going to have to report this to compliance as you obviously have some training refresher courses to attend!

Edit: Note, CSB approvals take at least 3 months to obtain, so it's best to get them in early on the off-chance you need them

[claui]

@stestagg Thanks for the pointer! We actually tried to consult the SOP at some point during the meeting but the printer wouldn’t print it.

[wizzwizz4]

@claui I talked to the techs and apparently salt water works better for liquidation of the printer ink. But I've found somebody online called "Michael Marcovici" who says he can liquidate any assets, and printer ink is an asset, so I'm going to talk to him instead. I don't think @lab would like it if I put salt in their "specially cleaned" water; they didn't even like me dipping the plug in it!

[marcorm]

+1

[claui]

@marcorm wrote:

+1

Hi and thank you for your message. I’m out of the office right now but I will get back to you as soon as possible. If you need something about the annual report, call Dorothy. For sales inquiries, please contact Michael on the 5th floor. If you’re Timmy and can’t find the remote again: it’s probably under the pillow. Don’t forget to floss before bedtime.

Regards,

Claudia Senior Group Manager of Enterprise Marketing

---

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[wizzwizz4]

My printer still doesn't work. Also, I was charged $500 by "Michael Marcovici, Attorney at Law" for not fixing the printer. How do you claim back money for company stuff again? I can't remember the form number.

[claui]

How do you claim back money for company stuff again? I can't remember the form number.

We only accept submissions in printed form.

[wizzwizz4]

Yes, but what's the form number?

[claui]

Yes, but what's the form number?

Look, my department is in the middle of reorganizing all forms. I’ll get back to you on that ASAP once the Numberwang committee has settled on the new number pooling scheme.

[marcorm]

@claui wrote:

@marcorm wrote:

+1

Hi and thank you for your message. I’m out of the office right now but I will get back to you as soon as possible. If you need something about the annual report, call Dorothy. For sales inquiries, please contact Michael on the 5th floor. If you’re Timmy and can’t find the remote again: it’s probably under the pillow. Don’t forget to floss before bedtime.

Regards,

Claudia Senior Group Manager of Enterprise Marketing

+2

How do you know Timmy, it's my turtle!

[stestagg]

Please take me off this distribution list

[wizzwizz4]

@stestagg You can press the thingy button to get off the list. I asked about this before, and apparently the list distributor can't get you off the list without you pressing the button thing.

[ghost]

Hi, I'm also having a printer issue.

[lifenautjoe]

Hi, I'm also having a printer issue.

Hi @dribro , could you please share the color of the printer?

[wizzwizz4]

@lifenautjoe Hi my printer still isn't working can you fix it pleaase

[wizzwizz4]

I turned it off and n angain a lot of times and it dnsd't work. Look.=

[lifenautjoe]

Hi @wizzwizz4 , thanks for the buzz of notifications. It keeps the pressure-driven culture alive.

What's the color of your printer again?

[wizzwizz4]

My printer isn't printing colours right. They come out wrong.

[wizzwizz4]

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[wizzwizz4]

Answer me this is urgent why haven't you answered I've been waiting for half an hour.

[claui]

A case has been assigned in the service incident tracker. A contractor will be on-site soon and (hopefully) have a look at the printer.

This costs $2000 so I hope they’re going to figure it out!

[lifenautjoe]

Glad to read so @claui and looking forward to the report of the outcome.

Shall we schedule a meeting for next month to discuss findings @all ?

Regards,

Joel Senior Executive Branch Group Manager of Business to Business Relationship Research & Analysis

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[wizzwizz4]

@claui I found the printer in portrait mode when I came back. It looks like the contractor also sorted that wireless issue I've been complaining about. There are some sharp bits of metal sticking out of the back, though; maybe that's a safety hazard.

Also, it still won't print colours right.

[Aericio]

you can always try to rename the colors on the printer.

[Aericio]

it worked fine for me 👍

[stestagg]

Guys! (and Woman colleagues! I remember my mandatory sensitivity trainings..)

Ian from services just sent through the service report. It might be time to push for an IT refresh again, maybe it'll be successful this time. I hear the lead-time for new equiement is down to 13 months now, so we might get lucky

[wizzwizz4]

I plugged the internet calbele into the printer and now it's print glbkac. Lot and lots of black.