Date: 17 May 2021
Time: 11am
Transcript noted By: Ms Diane Johnson
Ghm..Ghm.. So as you can see we met this sunny day to discuss pretty crucial and important matter regarding the future of our enterprise. Yo Mr Orons kindly take your fuckin airpods off I am speaking here for you as well. Oh you mean the voice is transmitting from the mic to your phone? Thats very pleasant, but still you are sitting right in front me... Diane dear can you please not record the issue happened just now? Thank you. Anyways COVID-19 had seriously affected our business, all employees had somehow to switch to remote and I see dramatic decrease in efficiency and productivity. While our patented potent FizzBuzzEnterpriseEdition product being the main source of our wealth I see all employees getting extremely demotivated. We invaded the market suddenly and irreversibly: what had been done cant be undone. Yet to be decided our future plans which are extremely vague and unclear. Our product is a big success, currently I can say without any doubt we control 99% of the software market.
Thats being said still thats the only thing we done so far. If we want to control the market in the future this cant be our only product. Time changes, people change, clients requests change. We can probably expect same amount of exposure by the next 10 years, but I think right now is the best time to start thinking of diversification for our FizzBuzz holding. How we can call ourselves a holding tho if its our only product?
But before that I want to summarize our recent marketing campaign I can say that marketing department did very well. It was truly a genius idea to make IT department upload broken code to github and then offer paid support to those who struggle with our product. No doubt everyone struggled. [Laughing]. So marketing department can be free already or may stay on this meeting, just so you know what I gonna say next has no relation to marketing department. By the way your premium already distributed into your accounts as I said I you did very good job. [Applauses]
Ok so they left now I am getting to the point. We need fresh ideas, so we can start planning our further projects basically what I mentioned before. Without ideas nothing more will happen. If you think the project is finished and you are fine with your salary I have bad news for you. I am shareholder here while you are the employees. Employees get their salary for regular work. So when the project comes to the end I can chill, but you may not. Ghm...
Due to recent employee demotivation and frequent cases of mismanagement as well as lack of any fresh ideas from you now I decided to give an official order. We gonna play one of your favorite games, the ones you are often playing in the office right in front of me: Battle Royale. Everybody who cannot deliver me fresh ideas or will deliver weakest ideas comparing to others will be fired personally by me. I gonna do calculations every week. If I am too busy on some particular week consider yourself lucky. I hope this cleanup in our recruitment might help everyone clear their brains and finally start thinking about the future of our enterprise. Because seriously I had enough of your inactivity. This is just inappropriate. If you cant prove you worth it I better hire fresh people to your place since the original project is done long time ago anyways.
Diane dear please distribute this to everyone who have not been able to attend todays meeting. Thank you Diane...
Thats all I was gonna say, meeting is finally finished.
mahmoud-syr
commented
3 years ago
Date: 17 May 2021 Time: 11am Transcript noted By: Ms Diane Johnson
Ghm..Ghm.. So as you can see we met this sunny day to discuss pretty crucial and important matter regarding the future of our enterprise. Yo Mr Orons kindly take your fuckin airpods off I am speaking here for you as well. Oh you mean the voice is transmitting from the mic to your phone? Thats very pleasant, but still you are sitting right in front me... Diane dear can you please not record the issue happened just now? Thank you. Anyways COVID-19 had seriously affected our business, all employees had somehow to switch to remote and I see dramatic decrease in efficiency and productivity. While our patented potent FizzBuzzEnterpriseEdition product being the main source of our wealth I see all employees getting extremely demotivated. We invaded the market suddenly and irreversibly: what had been done cant be undone. Yet to be decided our future plans which are extremely vague and unclear. Our product is a big success, currently I can say without any doubt we control 99% of the software market.
Thats being said still thats the only thing we done so far. If we want to control the market in the future this cant be our only product. Time changes, people change, clients requests change. We can probably expect same amount of exposure by the next 10 years, but I think right now is the best time to start thinking of diversification for our FizzBuzz holding. How we can call ourselves a holding tho if its our only product?
But before that I want to summarize our recent marketing campaign I can say that marketing department did very well. It was truly a genius idea to make IT department upload broken code to github and then offer paid support to those who struggle with our product. No doubt everyone struggled. [Laughing]. So marketing department can be free already or may stay on this meeting, just so you know what I gonna say next has no relation to marketing department. By the way your premium already distributed into your accounts as I said I you did very good job. [Applauses]
Ok so they left now I am getting to the point. We need fresh ideas, so we can start planning our further projects basically what I mentioned before. Without ideas nothing more will happen. If you think the project is finished and you are fine with your salary I have bad news for you. I am shareholder here while you are the employees. Employees get their salary for regular work. So when the project comes to the end I can chill, but you may not. Ghm...
Due to recent employee demotivation and frequent cases of mismanagement as well as lack of any fresh ideas from you now I decided to give an official order. We gonna play one of your favorite games, the ones you are often playing in the office right in front of me: Battle Royale. Everybody who cannot deliver me fresh ideas or will deliver weakest ideas comparing to others will be fired personally by me. I gonna do calculations every week. If I am too busy on some particular week consider yourself lucky. I hope this cleanup in our recruitment might help everyone clear their brains and finally start thinking about the future of our enterprise. Because seriously I had enough of your inactivity. This is just inappropriate. If you cant prove you worth it I better hire fresh people to your place since the original project is done long time ago anyways.
Diane dear please distribute this to everyone who have not been able to attend todays meeting. Thank you Diane...
Thats all I was gonna say, meeting is finally finished.