Proofreading & Layout of Charity Descriptions

[neave1]

~NAMI Impact page -- Bold and a separate paragraph for each of "Our Vision", "Our Mission" and "Our Values" to clarify. ~TSO History page -- remove the irrelevant, bracketed numbers. ~TSO Impact page -- remove numbers, start with a capital letter. ~National Ballet History page -- hyphenate "in-house" ~National Ballet Impact page -- "Read our full commitment to EDI >" doesn't go anywhere, broken link ~JED Mission page -- needs a period at the end statement ~CAMH Impact page -- "communities Goals We" Lower case "g", period after goals, community's goals (showing possession) ~Powerplant Mission page -- period at the end ~NCC Impact page -- line 13 "conservation. Developing strategies" add "targets" after conservation. Also bold or italics for "Developing strategies", "Taking action", "Measuring success:" Needs a period at the end. ~CODE Impact page -- commas after "Our vision, Our mission, Our core values" ~AGO Mission page -- period at the end ~AGO History page -- "https://ago.ca/board-trustees-fact-sheet" broken link ~AGO Impact page -- this paragraph requires a re-write, it makes little sense from beginning to end, no closing period ~TRCA -- good description ~Contact Photography Festival -- good description ~Bridgepoint Health -- good description ~IRF History page -- needs a closing period ~IRF Impact page -- put colons after the capitalized headings ~Project AWARE Foundation History page -- remove irrelevant bracketed numbers ~Project AWARE Foundation Impact page -- "... platforms such as Facebook and My Ocean, " delete comma and put a period after My Ocean; "Project AWARE's online eco-network" (add in here) is dedicated to...; remove irrelevant bracketed numbers ~Global Association for People and the Environment -- good description ~Against Malaria Foundation Mission page -- closing period ~AMF Impact page -- delete braced words "{What we do} We help protect people from malaria. We fund anti-malaria nets, specifically long-lasting insecticidal nets (LLINs), and work with distribution partners to ensure they are used. We track and report on net use and malaria case data. {Donations} People fundraise for us, typically through sponsored activities. We also receive direct donations from individuals, groups and organisations. {more Distributions} We buy nets and work with distribution partners who organise and fund the distribution of the nets. {more Monitoring} We monitor net usage to ensure nets continue to be used. We monitor malaria case rate data so we know the impact of the nets. {more}" ~War Child Impact page -- "Humanitarian Standard War Child" period after Standard ~Last Door -- good description

[celiasmith]

Thanks for the thorough proofread! This actually points to a deeper challenge, which is that we can't currently format these string (e.g. bold or even new line). We've added a task to allow that formatting, and then we can return to these suggestions and implement them.

[neave1]

This proofreading wasn't everything. I just mentioned the main points that I noticed. There was a lot more layout to be done to make the pages attractive. I think that your target audience would notice these details too. I hope you can work a fix. neave 😉

On Fri., Feb. 18, 2022, 12:24 p.m. Chris Eliasmith, < @.***> wrote:

Thanks for the thorough proofread! This actually points to a deeper challenge, which is that we can't currently format these string (e.g. bold or even new line). We've added a task to allow that formatting, and then we can return to these suggestions and implement them.

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[celiasmith]

All of the descriptions have now been updated and formatted nicely.

[neave1]

I reviewed the updated pages and they look much improved, excellent layout. For me, as a donor, it would make a huge difference in my confidence in the website. I did find a few of the suggested changes that were missed, I have listed them below. I will continue to work on other aspects of the website. neave

~National Ballet Impact page -- Please remove the "Read our full commitment to EDI>" phrase. It is no longer relevant now that the link has been removed. ~JED Mission page -- needs a period at the end statement. Remains uncorrected. ~CAMH Impact page -- requires a period at the end of the first sentence. ~Powerplant Mission page -- period at the end ~NCC Impact page -- needs a period at the end. ~AGO Mission page -- needs a period at the end. ~Project AWARE Foundation History page -- remove irrelevant bracketed numbers, they look like numbered footnotes without the corresponding footnote ~Project AWARE Foundation Impact page -- Needs a period at the end of the second paragraph. ~Against Malaria Foundation Mission page -- Needs a closing period.

[neave1]

Issue #8 is not quite completed. Please see the comments on Github.

On Tue., Mar. 1, 2022, 9:47 a.m. Chris Eliasmith, @.***> wrote:

All of the descriptions have now been updated and formatted nicely.

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[celiasmith]

Issue #8 is not quite completed. Please see the comments on Github.

Please check again. Those changes were made, but they took a while to propagate to the 'live' version of the website. Hopefully we got them all 🤞 . Thanks for the follow up.