Godley / Music-Library

Repo for all FYP work, including meeting logs, implementation, report and any other necessary documents. Will be a mix of tex, python, word and pdf documents
GNU General Public License v2.0
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more helen feedback: intro and conclusion #280

Closed Godley closed 9 years ago

Godley commented 9 years ago

Still some instances of ‘it’s’ when you mean ‘its’ – possessive pronoun. To check, expand each it’s into ‘it is’ and if it doesn’t fit its sentence it’s the other one.

“physically look or memorise each piece. At present, many larger Orchestras” – ‘physically look at’ (expand each sentence part when there’s an ‘and’ or ‘or’ to check completeness) and ‘orchestras’ – only capitalise proper nouns.

Another example “in order to improve the usability and shorten the amount of time needed to create and expand a digital collection of music” becomes “in order to improve the usability of, and shorten the amount of time needed to create and expand, a digital collection of music”. Here I’ve also put commas round to try to make this long sentence clearer, but it could be better to rephrase some of these constructs. Actually the problem goes away if you just delete ‘the’ before ‘usability’, so always look for the simplest way to clarify grammar if you can.

On the conclusion itself – I liked the opening paragraph – it was a summary to remind the reader and also mention succinctly why it is a difficult problem. I don’t think ‘longer process’ does it justice – ‘more complex’ is probably better. Define why it’s considered a success – you could enumerate instruments and/or use cases that have been covered, whereas ‘enough of the most commonly used symbols’ is rather bland and you’re asking the reader just to take your word for it. Close up the space ‘threefold’; ‘extensible’ not ‘extendable’; ‘in terms of meeting its objectives’.

Personally I like a short conclusion like this, provided the meat of the evidence has been adequately gone through in the substantive sections of the report.