dackst
commented
3 years ago post-desert:
- "who's family" should be "whose family"
- "Metorite" should be spelled Meteorite
- tournement -> tournament
- what's a grand?
- parents strength => parents' strength
- exhilirating -> exhilarating
- meteorite showers aren't a thing. Meteors/shooting stars are only called meteorites if/when they hit the ground.
- I feel like this is also applicable to every other instance of "meteorite" I've seen so far. For reference, both DWM2 on GBC and the fan translation of Terry's Wonderland 3D use "Starry Shrine" and "Starry Night Tournament" instead of "[Mm]eteorite [Ss]hrine" and "[Mm]eteorite [Tt]ournament"
- Tara's the one who's entering the tournament, not you.
- man that appears to be -> man that he appears to be
- after get a hold of the bell -> after he got a hold of the bell? after getting a hold of the bell?
- I don't know what this is supposed to mean. There's monsters outside of the hut that I can fight, and it doesn't seem like I need to do so to reach the pyramid
- alongside is one word
- the arena isn't a farm. I was expecting a second monster farm on the island or something
- No matter what you tell me, you seem wrong. This sentence...
- So I finally ran into a "Drak Slime" in the gameplay, which conflicts with the "Drake slime" I brought up earlier from the intro
- town -> towns
- good -> goods
water world:
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were -> we're
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the volcano doesn't appear to be in a lake? unless this whole world is in a lake and not a sea? 1, 2
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a far -> afar
- also another instance of "travelled" with two Ls
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the squid is referred to as female, but it's actually male when it joins you?
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mainland is one word
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water levels fall: given that restoring the lighthouse has always made it so the rocks in the water no longer block your way, I feel like this should probably say "the water levels'll rise"
- later dialogue seems to support that water levels rose rather than fell
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Moonstone was keep -> Moonstone was kept
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pirates -> pirates'? pirate?
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Moonstone vs. Moon Stone
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lucky that I run into you -> "lucky that I ran into you". Also the comma after "bar" is unnecessary
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was returned by there are still -> was *returned, but there are still
more great log stuff:
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I'm was (I am was?) -> I was
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weapen -> weapon
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banced -> balanced
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developer -> develop
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meaneuvers -> maneuvering
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monsters -> monster's
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walkway -> walkway
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encounted -> encountered, StreetPassed -> StreetPass
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Pschyes -> Psyches
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You peacefully view -> You can peacefully view
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it'll get a book: based on his earlier dialogue, I assume he talking about himself, so it should be "I'll get a book"
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easyi -> easy
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Princes's -> Prince's
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can't open my shop having traveled: I think it should be "can't open my shop after having traveled"?
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wind blows to the island from here: Where is this "the island" if not "here"? Maybe "blows to this here island"?
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I'll make 'em laugh if I'm the butt of their joke next - I feel like there's some idiom being mistranslated here. No one likes Kameha's pranks, but "I'll make 'em laugh" almost seems to suggest otherwise, and that this guy willingly subjects himself to them. Maybe "I'll show them"?
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what can you catch any: either "can you catch any" or "what can you catch"
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y'knov -> y'know
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Ice key -> Ice Key?
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Slime types monsters are pretty common through out -> Slime-type monsters are pretty common throughout
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the monsters in your party: he only asked for one monster here
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The Monster -> The monsters (there's multiple monsters here)
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lemonade!".: you can also place ending punctuation either inside or outside the quotes, but not both
overflows:
Comma shenanigans:
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unnecessary commas:
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missing commas
- whatever happens, I'm happy
- that said, sometimes you get lucky
- you're a girl, so I guess that's okay
- like your life depends on it, my small friend
- As one who lives in the seas, I'm deeply grateful
- wasn't any good, so you're
- Who am I kidding, I can't lie
- when she's pleased with me, so I'm gonna do my best
Ich73
I've been collecting a bunch of stuff as I've played through 1.0. I played through the end of the desert world with Tara, but only the opening scenes with Cobi. Sorry if some of these have been fixed already with the post-1.0 commits. I tried to make sure nothing overlaps with any other currently open issues.
"What what" should be "what was"
It's gonna eat us?
unexpected line breaks? 1, 2
line break comes too late
not enough space here
too much space here
how it current looks -> how it currently looks
worlds within worlds: I doubt this is supposed to mean that other worlds are somehow contained within Great Log's world, and think that "within our" is mistakenly repeated twice.
whither: Whither is a word that exists, but the correct word here is "wither"
Great Log wither -> Great log will wither
Scout help:
whistling -> Whistle, to be consistent with how the other actions are written
iou -> you
we're not in Great Tree anymore
kameha: he going to -> he is going to, near king -> next king
words -> worlds
I'd be happy when he'll return home -> I'll be happy when he returns home? I'd be happy if he returns home?
guard on Kameha: this doesn't make much sense as is. I mean, of course the guard is relieved he doesn't have to deal with him, but the fact that Prince Kameha hasn't shown up where he usually would should make the guard more worried about the idea that Kameha might be missing.
an audience with his this country's ruler: don't remember the exact line before this, but the "his" could probably be removed. Depending on what came before, maybe it could be "an audience with him, this country's ruler", or something
The Bandit's leader -> The bandit leader, The bandits' leader (There's more than one bandit)
Brethern is spelled brethren, and probably should be possessive (brethren's). But this sentence has some weird sounding nested possessive stuff, and I'd rather not try to figure out what is "correct". It would be ideally restructured altogether (Maybe "Come to most any inn you come across during your travels to seek a blessing from me and my brethren.")
are resting at the Inn: There's only one dude at the inn. This implies all, or at least a group of performers are in the inn.
Better hurry after him then...: this line makes no sense in context; we're not chasing after anyone. What I think he meant to say is that he wants to finish exploring before Papa gets back.
folks -> folks'
Slush joins your party, but he's named Slash while in it.
Cobi: what awaits you there I thought he wanted to explore together?
Beasts: 1, 2], 3: there are no beast family monsters anywhere. maybe something like beastly? for 2+3, "that monster over there" is a devipine, which is in the devil family. there are also florajays further down the map, which are nature.
don't forget that Drake slime: he doesn't seem to have a name like Slush. Can't remember how other generic monster names are used, but either "don't forget that the Drake Slime" or "don't forget that the drake slime"
townsfolk is typically one word
The second desert town is referred to as both "Asiya" and "Asyia" is multiple areas.
all of the sudden: from what I could find, while "all of the sudden" has found some recent online usage, the typical phrase is "all of a sudden"
Antidotal herb would be better as "Cures a single ally of the effects of poison or severe poison" to be consistent with the other status healing items in the item shop
towns underground aquaduct -> town's underground aqueduct. Besides this one, there also many more instances of "aqueduct" being misspelled as "aquaduct". "Aquaeduct" seems to also be a viable alternative, but the "aqueducts" should probably change too if that is chosen
discretely -> discreetly
What in the... was that voice...? -> "What in the... What was that voice...?", "What in the world was that voice...?"
I can see you're concern for my safety -> "I can see you're concerned for my safety", or possibly, "I can see your concern for my safety"
it can't hurt to have by my side -> it can't hurt to have you by my side
Passageway is typically one word
existance -> existence
line -> "where did the "Ringmaster" go...? It's almost like he vanished
have you been gaining skill points: all monsters "gain" skill points no matter what you do. It should probably be "allocating", "spending", or "using"
too much spreading.
i heard the bandits in captivity -> i heard the bandits are in captivity
Great Log's Key is called Great Log Key in the Item Sack.
I remember an npc in Asyia/Asiya saying "traveling" (or "travelin'") to be immediately followed by "travelling" (or traveller?) the next line. Double Ls are typically British, while the single L is typically American. I was thinking that Dragon Quest localizations often have different accents, so it might be excused, but this was literally two successive lines from a single character. Most existing instances I've seen seem to use a single L
even in trouble -> ever in trouble
The rest might less strictly be considered errors and more (odd) English stylistic choices:
Sometimes certain Words switch between being capitalized and lowercase at seemingly random. Now I'm sure this done consistently with how the Japanese writes some《Words》, but this isn't really done in English. For most of Words, I would probably favor getting rid of the capitalization, provided that they're not special names, selectable menu entries, at the start of sentences, etc.
Commas and other punctuation strangeness。Same as before、mostly likely from maintaining the positions of Japanese commas。
Slime-type some: this confused me when I read it, and thought it was supposed to meant "some Slime-type monsters" (so not metal slimes, etc.) I didn't understand until I saw other weapons with [family]-type [amount]. I think "[family]-types [amount]" would be less confusing. But if this is how previous entries word it (didn't check), fair enough.