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Master Thesis on the concepts of Enterprise Architecture and Antifragility
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Feedback - v220419 - Chapter 2 #148

Closed JRBliekendaal closed 2 years ago

JRBliekendaal commented 2 years ago

Discussed in https://github.com/JRBliekendaal/master-thesis/discussions/141

Originally posted by edzob April 19, 2022 Chapter 2.0 1. “This chapter describes the core concepts of the research. These concepts are the public sector, Enterprise Architecture, and antifragile. The concepts often make use, contain or refer to the concept system. This chapter will also describe the concept of system” → rephrase to a storyline.

Chapter 2.1

~~1. “The used concepts public sector, EA, and antifragile are using the concept system” This sentence is more a note to yourself then a logical sentence for the reader. I also struggled a many iterations how to construct a nice story line to start with system.

  1. “Mentions some of them like” not a strong statement. Does not make sence for a blanco reader. It more a summary of the article as a mental note.
  2. “Mannaert et al. (2016, p. 13) isolates a part of reality in which we are interested and calls that a system“ -> not a strong statement for a reader that does not know the article/book.
  3. See overall statement on writing style.
  4. “An open system is a system that exchanges matter with its environment (Bertalanffy, 1968, p. 32), as where a closed system is considered to be isolated from its environment (Bertalanffy, 1968, p. 39).“ → example of a better style
  5. “Gharajedaghi (2011, p. 29) defined five principles to define the characteristics and assumptions about the behaviour of a system. These principles are building blocks of a mental model to understand systems. The first principle Openness” → Help the reader.. First write what you want to convey , then add details (add the 5) then reference.
  6. “. Counterintuitive behaviour is the last principle” → “Counterintuitive behaviour is the fifth and last principle” or something along the lines
  7. “International Council on Systems Engineering (2018) defines a SoS as a collection of independent systems integrated into a larger system that delivers unique capabilities. ‘ -> Not true. They have a publication that states….
  8. “The Body of Knowledge (BoK) is in agreement that the concept of ecosystems in the field of ecology was defined by Tansley (1935). “ → Not true :) does it, or is this your statement?~~

Chapter 2.2 Antifragile

~~1. “. The framework consists out of 4 main principles:” -> Integers below 10 in letters.

  1. “The framework consists out of 4 main principles:” -> when you number the elements use a enumerate as list. (also later in same section)
  2. Merge error “ ”Define antifragility as a property of a system” (Jaaron & Backhouse, 2014). Kastner (2017) created a framework for designing an antifragile organisation: Antifragile Organisation Design Framework. The framework consists out of 4 main principles:“ komt twee keer voor
  3. “Botjes (2020) has conducted literature research for his master project” -> rephrase to IEEE reference. Geldt voor hele paragraaf.~~
JRBliekendaal commented 2 years ago

2.0.1 The main concepts of this research are the \gls{ps}, \acrlong{ea}, and \gls{antifragile}. These three concepts are defined to create a common understanding. However, all three concepts use another concept. This concept is \textit{'system'}. For mutual understanding, the definition of system helps in understanding the \gls{ps}, \acrfull{ea}, and \gls{antifragile}.

2.1.1 System has various definitions and types. E.g. open and closed, linear and nonlinear, dynamic and deterministic systems \textcite{Rickles2007}. 2.1.2 Removed. Less is more. 2.1.3 A system can be an area of interest \textcite[p.~13]{Mannaert2016}. 2.1.4 Too generic statement. In the phase of rewriting. 2.1.5 Was an example of how it should be. 2.1.6 Rewrote the whole part. 2.1.7 Rewrote the whole part.

A mental model for understanding a system is dependent on specific characteristics of the behaviour of a system. Understanding the behaviour of a system can only be in its environment \parencite[p.~29]{Gharajedaghi2011}. The boundary of a system is defined by the variables that can be influenced or controlled by the actors of that system \parencite[p.~182]{Gharajedaghi2011}. Variables that can not be influenced or controlled but impact the viability of the system are part of the context \parencite[p.~183]{Gharajedaghi2011} or the environment \parencite[p.~13--14]{Mannaert2016}. Understanding the environment will help to influence the environment. The \textit{Why they do} and \textit{What they do} of the actors in the environment help with influencing the environment \parencite[p.~33]{Gharajedaghi2011}. To understand the inner workings, one needs the ability to see complementary relations in opposing tendencies and to create feasible wholes with infeasible parts \parencite[p.~38]{Gharajedaghi2011}. However, the properties of a system are not the properties of its parts but the whole \parencites{Ackoff1973}{Gharajedaghi2011}. Because of these properties, actions intended to produce the desired outcome may generate opposite results, resulting in counterintuitive behaviour \parencite[p.~48]{Gharajedaghi2011}.

2.1.8 A collection of independent systems that are part of a more extensive system has unique capabilities \parencite{INCOSE2018}. The independent systems working together have unique behaviour that they do not have on their own \parencite{INCOSE2018}. 2.1.9 The concept of ecosystem originated from the field of ecology. It was firstly defined by \textcite[p.~229]{Tansley1935} \parencite[p.~19]{Rich1988}.

2.2 Completely rewritten

@edzob document was changed. Thank you for your first feedback on this chapter.

JRBliekendaal commented 2 years ago

Feedback was used. Large parts of Chapter two are rewritten because of this feedback.