Quick questions
HOI4 version: 1.11.12
Kaiserreich version: 0.21.3
List any other mods used: Colored Buttons
Explanation of the issue:
There are some grammar errors in the description for general Xu Xiangqian.
In the first sentence "thoughts to students, which later caused him to be fired from that job" shouldn't have a comma since that is a restrictive phrase due to the sentence afterwards needing that context.
In the second sentence "Revolutionary Guards, and later participated" shouldn't have a comma since that is a dependent clause after an independent clause. Either remove the comma or add "he" after the "and" to correct it.
In the third sentence "the power struggle inside KMT" should be "the power struggle inside the KMT" or "the power struggle inside of the KMT". Additionally, the third sentence ends with "Germans routed them", it is unclear who "them" refers to. Maybe replace it with "Germans routed his forces". The third sentence is also a bit clunky with four commas linking different phrases, I think it would look better as two sentences like "After the failure of the Northern Expedition, Xu was dissatisfied with the power struggle inside the KMT, so he moved to Guangzhou and took part in the Guangzhou Revolution. He also tried to follow Peng Pai, fighting in the guerrilla zone in the Haifeng-Lufeng area like Li Jishen did before the Germans routed his forces."
The fourth sentence seems confusing to me, I'm not sure what or where Xu is transferring or who the word "they" describes.
The use of "only" in the fifth sentence implies that continuing the fight was unexpected when I don't think that was the intended meaning. The sentence could instead be "He voluntarily decided to stay in China to continue his fight.".
In the fifth sentence "to" shouldn't be used to introduce the first item in a contrast and the word "and" at the beginning is slightly confusing. The corrected sentence could be "There is a sharp contrast between Xu's serious, wordless character when directing a battle and the fact that he is privately an animal lover who enjoys the Shanxi and Cantonese operas."
Suzuuha
commented
2 years ago
Quick questions HOI4 version: 1.11.12 Kaiserreich version: 0.21.3 List any other mods used: Colored Buttons
Explanation of the issue: There are some grammar errors in the description for general Xu Xiangqian. In the first sentence "thoughts to students, which later caused him to be fired from that job" shouldn't have a comma since that is a restrictive phrase due to the sentence afterwards needing that context. In the second sentence "Revolutionary Guards, and later participated" shouldn't have a comma since that is a dependent clause after an independent clause. Either remove the comma or add "he" after the "and" to correct it. In the third sentence "the power struggle inside KMT" should be "the power struggle inside the KMT" or "the power struggle inside of the KMT". Additionally, the third sentence ends with "Germans routed them", it is unclear who "them" refers to. Maybe replace it with "Germans routed his forces". The third sentence is also a bit clunky with four commas linking different phrases, I think it would look better as two sentences like "After the failure of the Northern Expedition, Xu was dissatisfied with the power struggle inside the KMT, so he moved to Guangzhou and took part in the Guangzhou Revolution. He also tried to follow Peng Pai, fighting in the guerrilla zone in the Haifeng-Lufeng area like Li Jishen did before the Germans routed his forces." The fourth sentence seems confusing to me, I'm not sure what or where Xu is transferring or who the word "they" describes. The use of "only" in the fifth sentence implies that continuing the fight was unexpected when I don't think that was the intended meaning. The sentence could instead be "He voluntarily decided to stay in China to continue his fight.". In the fifth sentence "to" shouldn't be used to introduce the first item in a contrast and the word "and" at the beginning is slightly confusing. The corrected sentence could be "There is a sharp contrast between Xu's serious, wordless character when directing a battle and the fact that he is privately an animal lover who enjoys the Shanxi and Cantonese operas."
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