support spill settings: max_bytes_before_external_sort and max_bytes_before_external_group_by

[taiyang-li]

Pass max_bytes_before_external_sort and max_bytes_before_external_group_by from gluten to CH:

If spark.memory.offHeap.enabled = true:

• max_bytes_before_external_sort = spark.memory.offHeap.size * 0.5
• max_bytes_before_external_group_by = spark.memory.offHeap.size * 0.5

Otherwise throw an exception.

[taiyang-li]

duplicated with https://github.com/oap-project/gluten/issues/1376