What is Limerence? 🧠

[utterances-bot]

What is Limerence? 🧠

The mind can be both your greatest ally and fiercest adversary | 💗⚔️

https://macawls.github.io/blog/post/what-is-limerence/

[iamTakuu]

The timing of this post, lmaooooo.

I really like the sections on: Interference with Daily Functioning && Escapism and Emotional Dependence.

Personally, being alone lately has really helped me gaing a new understanding of self that was likely always there, but never trully explored. I've always been able to know when I become emtionally dependant, or have my daily functionality by a substance or activity, yet I it never occured to me that this could occur with people too. As you said, it's not a bad thing at all, but extremes can be had.

Emotional inteligence is a fascinating topic, and while approaching it with literature and logic is mad interesting, seems like you can only gain it through experience, then build on it through understanding.

Banger post :heart:

[Matthiasbrat]

Firstly, I want to start with a little thanks for the research and sharing, and the time you've put in this post, to explain things in a way you understood limerence and a way we can understand it better, and get a nice approach to the subject.

I will quote you in a few things I found kinda fun or interesting and where I would say something too.

Am I delusional? Yes very much so 😎👍

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If I were to reflect on my past relationships, it seems that whenever I have shown vulnerability, it’s often backfired or resulted in negative consequences. As if the more exposed I am, the more I could invite unnecessary harm upon myself.

It's interesting how you say it because, I can absolutely say that almost everyone has felt like that in their life at a certain point. It's a very common feeling people get, but with time it can fade away or stay. It depends on your mindset, and how you want to grow up, and more importantly, what are you trying to become.

For example, I used to feel like that a long time ago, but time passed by, and I didn't feel it was something that important to deal with. So I let it be, and tried to understand what I really wanted and needed. A lot of things in life are just like that. They are results of long steps and processes which have happened inside you, and your brain. If you want to achieve something or deal with something, you have to understand the process. Or at least, understand what steps you can take towards, ultimately, feeling better 😀.

Also, the feeling you describe is as you say, strongly attached to limerence. Because you say you were harmed when you show vulnerability. Those are facts. But that doesn't mean you can't feel differently about it. If you felt harmed when it backfired, I think you expected other people to treat you personnal words/experience as something might usefull or respectable. Meaning you attended a transactionnal 😉exchange. But the first purpose was, you wanting to express something, not waiting for judgment or advice.

I suggest this, share, be yourself, be naïve but not ignorant, be free but not rude, do what you want but look arround. Meaning, if someone tell you something about yourself which you found rude, try to understand the reason, where else, you can just tell them and they'll be alone and feel bad about their own critics if they made no real sense.

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But how do we cultivate long lasting quality friendships without vulnerability? How do we nurture them without expressing emotions? That’s obviously not possible.

I miss read it twice, but now I get your point and I absolutely agree with it. You need to express personnal things and povs and you need to accept the differences in personnality between you two as something great. But yet, I think the best way here is to not overthink it 👍.

Just want to add something is that don't forget we are all humans, and even if people don't seem interested or don't talk about transactionnal relations, a lot of them are still very opened to it. You just gotta impose yourself as, yourself. And not be afraid of getting in a conversation or else with anyone.

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Life’s unpredictable nature never fails to astonish me. None of us truly know anything for sure, it’s as if we’re all blindly following one another. You would think that we have a choice on what intrigues us or the freedom to choose what we find captivating. Like the preconceived notion of what we supposedly find attractive is absolute when in reality that’s far from the truth. It’s all an illusion.

I'm not a big fan.

Jokes appart, what you're describing here is understandable and is true in a certain way. However, that's overthinking things. Things are things. You can give them a meaning/purpose or not. It doesn't change the nature of the object. What can be(or not) beautifull. Is the meaning/colors/memories you can find in an object. It doesn't make of your appreciation of the object an illusion because other factors and the society you grew up in made you think about it a certain way. But as you say, you gotta understand whats likeable or normal to like.

Tbh, nature 🐢 and a lot of other simple things in life are the most beautifull things you can experience, but that's another topic.

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On a deeper level, the three weeks was always accomplishable, reinforcing the illusion that we’re in control.

Yo, that's some very good line here. I never tought about it like that and it does answer to the cigarett addiction I had. 🔥

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Similar Neurochemical Processes

This part was so interesting. Made me think about toxicity especially.

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Put simply, its a mechanism that helps us find a suitable mate and increase the likelihood of survival for our offspring.

In addition there is also another purpose that older people don't often talk about. Finding someone is important when your younger because you don't want to end your life being alone. Also young = better looking = increase chances of meeting someone already physically interested.

I've recently talked with a lot of aged people where their friends/lover all passed away and their grandkids don't come visit them. They feel sad.

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Factors such as compatibility, shared values, communication styles, emotional connection and commitment also play significant roles in the formation and maintenance of relationships.

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Tank you 💖

Hope you're doing great, summer is comming here, I wish you all the best in everything you want to achieve (or not :) ). And I do really mean it. If you ever need something you can always call me on discord. bb 👋