This incorporates the corrections @ghobona sent by email, as well as the rest of my review. (I hope I haven't re-introduced any style inconsistences or un-American orthography after Gobe's clean up!)
I've removed the "Editor's note" asides (I assume from @prushforth?), as they didn't really seem part of a review of the workshop. If they could be re-written as cross-references to information presented in a different session, that would be one thing, but interjections from an anonymous editor don't seem appropriate to me.
Other than that, mostly editing / re-organizing for readability.
One remaining improvement I would suggest (but probably won't have the time for myself) is to make the links a little more clear & consistent. I was moving text around to put more unique text content in the links (from the talk summaries) before I realized that some of those links out were to videos, and some were to slides, and some were to external websites. In hindsight, I guess Peter or someone else had been carefully choosing the linked word to describe the type of link (e.g., presentation to link to slides?), but that hadn't been clear to me. It might be better to remove the links from the prose and have explicit links to video and slides, separately at the end of each paragraph.
Other than that: I'll try to go through the website this week & clean up things like the sidebars & other text that still refers to the workshop as a future thing. I also wanted to play around with some print styles so that we can easily save the report as a PDF. But none of that is urgent.
This incorporates the corrections @ghobona sent by email, as well as the rest of my review. (I hope I haven't re-introduced any style inconsistences or un-American orthography after Gobe's clean up!)
I've removed the "Editor's note" asides (I assume from @prushforth?), as they didn't really seem part of a review of the workshop. If they could be re-written as cross-references to information presented in a different session, that would be one thing, but interjections from an anonymous editor don't seem appropriate to me.
Other than that, mostly editing / re-organizing for readability.
One remaining improvement I would suggest (but probably won't have the time for myself) is to make the links a little more clear & consistent. I was moving text around to put more unique text content in the links (from the talk summaries) before I realized that some of those links out were to videos, and some were to slides, and some were to external websites. In hindsight, I guess Peter or someone else had been carefully choosing the linked word to describe the type of link (e.g., presentation to link to slides?), but that hadn't been clear to me. It might be better to remove the links from the prose and have explicit links to video and slides, separately at the end of each paragraph.
Other than that: I'll try to go through the website this week & clean up things like the sidebars & other text that still refers to the workshop as a future thing. I also wanted to play around with some print styles so that we can easily save the report as a PDF. But none of that is urgent.