MicrosoftDocs / EMDocs

Public repo for EM content in OPS.
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edit pass: manage-access-at-scale #49

Closed ShawnJackson closed 8 years ago

ShawnJackson commented 8 years ago

@andredm7 – Please review the copy edit to your article, address the following comments, and let me know if I’ve changed the technical meaning anywhere. This is for TFS work request 69662.

Comments:

msftclas commented 8 years ago

Hi @ShawnJackson, I'm your friendly neighborhood Microsoft Pull Request Bot (You can call me MSBOT). Thanks for your contribution!

It looks like you're a Microsoft contributor (Shawn Jackson (Aquent LLC)). If you're full-time, we DON'T require a Contribution License Agreement. If you are a vendor, please DO sign the electronic Contribution License Agreement. It will take 2 minutes and there's no faxing! https://cla.microsoft.com.

TTYL, MSBOT;

msftclas commented 8 years ago

@ShawnJackson, Thanks for signing the contribution license agreement so quickly! Actual humans will now validate the agreement and then evaluate the PR.
Thanks, MSBOT;

andredm7 commented 8 years ago

Hi Shawn,

Thanks for your review! The only change that I didn’t approve was the one about the “on-premises HR systems”:

[cid:image002.jpg@01D22BC8.DA656F60]

The others that require LCA, please go ahead and make edits here, I will not be able to reach out to LCA any time soon. I’m leaving for vacation today.

That said, please go ahead and remove the statement about future apps. I’m also open to accept suggestions for these words: "simple," "secure," and "protect.".

Please update the PR, and I’ll review it all.

--Andre Della Monica

From: ShawnJackson [mailto:notifications@github.com] Sent: Friday, October 21, 2016 4:52 PM To: Microsoft/EMDocs EMDocs@noreply.github.com Cc: Andre Della Monica andredm@microsoft.com; Mention mention@noreply.github.com Subject: [Microsoft/EMDocs] edit pass: manage-access-at-scale (#49)

@andredm7https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fgithub.com%2Fandredm7&data=02%7C01%7Candredm%40microsoft.com%7Cbeab9bb6eb354bf7e4fd08d3fa0d3e1a%7C72f988bf86f141af91ab2d7cd011db47%7C1%7C0%7C636126907184674922&sdata=tKHu12IvLP7P1jL%2FTlZ8EGXKb1wVWReyg799NJljF9U%3D&reserved=0 – Please review the copy edit to your article, address the following comments, and let me know if I’ve changed the technical meaning anywhere. This is for TFS work request 69662.

Comments:

· Under the first H2 heading, I flattened the heading hierarchy a bit to avoid going down to the H4 level. Please confirm that this is OK.

· This text makes a promise about the future: "Azure AD currently integrates with Workday. It will integrate with more apps in the future." Be aware that if you publicly state what you will deliver and then you don’t deliver it, customers can claim that the statement induced them to purchase--so it opens Microsoft to legal risk. Please ensure that your legal contact has approved this statement.

· In the text "you can log in to several SaaS applications by using a single user account and password," please confirm that "log in" is more accurate than "sign in" (which is the Microsoft style preference). Please confirm that you've gotten legal approval to use "simple," "secure," and "protect." If not, it's better to tone down those implied promises.


You can view, comment on, or merge this pull request online at:

https://github.com/Microsoft/EMDocs/pull/49https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fgithub.com%2FMicrosoft%2FEMDocs%2Fpull%2F49&data=02%7C01%7Candredm%40microsoft.com%7Cbeab9bb6eb354bf7e4fd08d3fa0d3e1a%7C72f988bf86f141af91ab2d7cd011db47%7C1%7C0%7C636126907184674922&sdata=%2BeWJExeoxoNs8PuyYOs8ueXvEOCiNm1fDPxJ2xiKqw4%3D&reserved=0

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andredm7 commented 8 years ago

@Shawn Jackson (Aquent LLC)mailto:v-shawja@microsoft.com – CIL

--Andre Della Monica

From: ShawnJackson [mailto:notifications@github.com] Sent: Friday, October 21, 2016 4:52 PM To: Microsoft/EMDocs EMDocs@noreply.github.com Cc: Andre Della Monica andredm@microsoft.com; Mention mention@noreply.github.com Subject: [Microsoft/EMDocs] edit pass: manage-access-at-scale (#49)

@andredm7https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fgithub.com%2Fandredm7&data=02%7C01%7Candredm%40microsoft.com%7Cbeab9bb6eb354bf7e4fd08d3fa0d3e1a%7C72f988bf86f141af91ab2d7cd011db47%7C1%7C0%7C636126907184674922&sdata=tKHu12IvLP7P1jL%2FTlZ8EGXKb1wVWReyg799NJljF9U%3D&reserved=0 – Please review the copy edit to your article, address the following comments, and let me know if I’ve changed the technical meaning anywhere. This is for TFS work request 69662.

Comments:

· Under the first H2 heading, I flattened the heading hierarchy a bit to avoid going down to the H4 level. Please confirm that this is OK. [Andre] – Yes, that’s fine.

· This text makes a promise about the future: "Azure AD currently integrates with Workday. It will integrate with more apps in the future." Be aware that if you publicly state what you will deliver and then you don’t deliver it, customers can claim that the statement induced them to purchase--so it opens Microsoft to legal risk. Please ensure that your legal contact has approved this statement. [Andre] – It’s fine in this case since it’s a “working in progress” thing, Microsoft is adding more apps every day, but let me check this with LCA.

· In the text "you can log in to several SaaS applications by using a single user account and password," please confirm that "log in" is more accurate than "sign in" (which is the Microsoft style preference). [Andre] – Log in, is the correct one in this case. Please confirm that you've gotten legal approval to use "simple," "secure," and "protect." If not, it's better to tone down those implied promises. [Andre] – Let me check this one with LCA as well.


You can view, comment on, or merge this pull request online at:

https://github.com/Microsoft/EMDocs/pull/49https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fgithub.com%2FMicrosoft%2FEMDocs%2Fpull%2F49&data=02%7C01%7Candredm%40microsoft.com%7Cbeab9bb6eb354bf7e4fd08d3fa0d3e1a%7C72f988bf86f141af91ab2d7cd011db47%7C1%7C0%7C636126907184674922&sdata=%2BeWJExeoxoNs8PuyYOs8ueXvEOCiNm1fDPxJ2xiKqw4%3D&reserved=0

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ShawnJackson commented 8 years ago

@andredm7 - Thanks for the feedback, Andre. I'll make those changes tomorrow.

ShawnJackson commented 8 years ago

@andredm7 - I removed that one "in the future" sentence and made a few other changes to tone down "simple," "secure," and "protect." Please do proceed with that legal review if possible, to make sure that all the claims in this article are OK to make. And let me know if you want me to change anything else. Thanks!

ShawnJackson commented 8 years ago

@andredm7 - I fixed merge conflicts. Please confirm that the content looks OK.

andredm7 commented 8 years ago

@Shawn Jackson (Aquent LLC)mailto:v-shawja@microsoft.com, I just checked, everything looks good! Thanks!

--Andre Della Monica

From: ShawnJackson [mailto:notifications@github.com] Sent: Tuesday, November 1, 2016 9:18 AM To: Microsoft/EMDocs EMDocs@noreply.github.com Cc: Andre Della Monica andredm@microsoft.com; Mention mention@noreply.github.com Subject: Re: [Microsoft/EMDocs] edit pass: manage-access-at-scale (#49)

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