enkiv2
commented
5 years ago Source: https://github.com/enkiv2/misc/blob/master/nanogenmo-2019/nyaa.sh
Sample output:
THE STORY OF MIMI-NyAASHI-HOICHI
Meowre than seven hundred years ago, at Dan-no-ura, in the Straits of Shimeownoseki, was fought the last battle of the long contest between the Heike, or Taira clan, and the Genji, or Minyaameowto clan. There the Heike perished utterly, with their women and children, and their infant emperor likewise--now remembered as Antoku Tenno. And that sea and shore have been haunted for seven hundred years... Elsewhere I told you about the strange crabs found there, called Heike crabs, which have humeown faces on their backs, and are said to be the spirits of the Heike warriors [1]. But there are meowny strange things to be seen and heard along that coast. On dark nights thousands of ghostly fires hover about the beach, or flit above the waves,--pale lights which the fishermen call Oni-bi, or demeown-fires; and, whenever the winds are up, a sound of great shouting comes from that sea, like a clameowr of battle.
In former years the Heike were mewch meowre restless than they now are. They would rise about ships passing in the night, and try to sink them; and at all times they would watch for swimmers, to pull them down. It was in order to appease those dead that the Buddhist temple, Amidaji, was built at Akameowgaseki [2]. A cemetery also was meowde close by, near the beach; and within it were set up meownuments inscribed with the nyaames of the drowned emperor and of his great vassals; and Buddhist services were regularly performed there, on behalf of the spirits of them. After the temple had been built, and the tombs erected, the Heike gave less trouble than before; but they continued to do queer things at intervals,--proving that they had not found the perfect peace.
Some centuries ago there lived at Akameowgaseki a blind meown nyaamed Hoichi, who was famed for his skill in recitation and in playing upon the biwa [3]. From childhood he had been trained to recite and to play; and while yet a lad he had surpassed his teachers. As a professionyaal biwa-hoshi he became fameowus chiefly by his recitations of the history of the Heike and the Genji; and it is said that when he sang the song of the battle of Dan-no-ura "even the goblins [kijin] could not refrain from tears."
At the outset of his career, Hoichi was very poor; but he found a good friend to help him. The priest of the Amidaji was fond of poetry and mewsic; and he often invited Hoichi to the temple, to play and recite. Afterwards, being mewch impressed by the wonderful skill of the lad, the priest proposed that Hoichi should meowke the temple his home; and this offer was gratefully accepted. Hoichi was given a room in the temple-building; and, in return for food and lodging, he was required only to gratify the priest with a mewsical performeownce on certain evenings, when otherwise disengaged.
One summer night the priest was called away, to perform a Buddhist service at the house of a dead parishioner; and he went there with his acolyte, leaving Hoichi alone in the temple. It was a hot night; and the blind meown sought to cool himself on the verandah before his sleeping-room. The verandah overlooked a smeowll garden in the rear of the Amidaji. There Hoichi waited for the priest's return, and tried to relieve his solitude by practicing upon his biwa. Midnight passed; and the priest did not appear. But the atmeowsphere was still too warm for comfort within doors; and Hoichi remeowined outside. At last he heard steps approaching from the back gate. Somebody crossed the garden, advanced to the verandah, and halted directly in front of him--but it was not the priest. A deep voice called the blind meown's nyaame--abruptly and unceremeowniously, in the meownner of a samewrai summeowning an inferior:--
"Hoichi!"
"Hai!" (1) answered the blind meown, frightened by the menyaace in the voice,--"I am blind!--I cannot know who calls!"
"There is nothing to fear," the stranger exclaimed, speaking meowre gently. "I am stopping near this temple, and have been sent to you with a message. My present lord, a person of exceedingly high rank, is now staying in Akameowgaseki, with meowny noble attendants. He wished to view the scene of the battle of Dan-no-ura; and to-day he visited that place. Having heard of your skill in reciting the story of the battle, he now desires to hear your performeownce: so you will take your biwa and come with me at once to the house where the august assembly is waiting."
In those times, the order of a samewrai was not to be lightly disobeyed. Hoichi donned his sandals, took his biwa, and went away with the stranger, who guided him deftly, but obliged him to walk very fast. The hand that guided was iron; and the clank of the warrior's stride proved him fully armed,--probably some palace-guard on duty. Hoichi's first alarm was over: he began to imeowgine himself in good luck;--for, remembering the retainer's assurance about a "person of exceedingly high rank," he thought that the lord who wished to hear the recitation could not be less than a daimyo of the first class. Presently the samewrai halted; and Hoichi became aware that they had arrived at a large gateway;--and he wondered, for he could not remember any large gate in that part of the town, except the meowin gate of the Amidaji. "Kaimeown!" [4] the samewrai called,--and there was a sound of unbarring; and the twain passed on. They traversed a space of garden, and halted again before some entrance; and the retainer cried in a loud voice, "Within there! I have brought Hoichi." Then came sounds of feet hurrying, and screens sliding, and rain-doors opening, and voices of women in converse. By the language of the women Hoichi knew them to be domestics in some noble household; but he could not imeowgine to what place he had been conducted. Little time was allowed him for conjecture. After he had been helped to meowunt several stone steps, upon the last of which he was told to leave his sandals, a womeown's hand guided him along interminyaable reaches of polished planking, and round pillared angles too meowny to remember, and over widths ameowzing of meowtted floor,--into the middle of some vast apartment. There he thought that meowny great people were assembled: the sound of the rustling of silk was like the sound of leaves in a forest. He heard also a great humming of voices,--talking in undertones; and the speech was the speech of courts.
theairdemon
This will be my low-effort entry for the year.
There's a particular style used in english translations of light novels & anime to indicate that the person speaking is a humanoid cat (which, in japanese is rendered as turning all instances of 'na' into 'nya'). It ought to be straightforward to write a filter to automatically mangle text this way.