Text from http://explainxkcd.com/1625/
Debate ➜ Dance-off
Self driving ➜ Uncontrollably swerving
Poll ➜ Psychic reading
Candidate ➜ Airbender
Drone ➜ Dog
Vows to ➜ Probably won't
At large ➜ Very large
Successfully ➜ Suddenly
Expands ➜ Physically expands
First/Second/Third-degree ➜ Friggin' awful
An unknown number ➜ Like hundreds
Front runner ➜ Blade runner
Global ➜ Spherical
Years ➜ Minutes
Minutes ➜ Years
No indication ➜ Lots of signs
Urged restraint by ➜ Drunkenly egged on
Horsepower ➜ Tons of horsemeat
Text from http://explainxkcd.com/1625/ Debate ➜ Dance-off Self driving ➜ Uncontrollably swerving Poll ➜ Psychic reading Candidate ➜ Airbender Drone ➜ Dog Vows to ➜ Probably won't At large ➜ Very large Successfully ➜ Suddenly Expands ➜ Physically expands First/Second/Third-degree ➜ Friggin' awful An unknown number ➜ Like hundreds Front runner ➜ Blade runner Global ➜ Spherical Years ➜ Minutes Minutes ➜ Years No indication ➜ Lots of signs Urged restraint by ➜ Drunkenly egged on Horsepower ➜ Tons of horsemeat