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RinglingGameArt / 2020_Junior_Prepro

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R1 Crit Feedback - Ken #5

Open egingric opened 4 years ago

egingric commented 4 years ago

Scott - why not do thrid person? Stealth is easier w 3rd person. Marty - Mike - need to get us all the way to the shoulder. hands need to get devloped a lot further Ryland - rethink the name - doesn't match. Morgan - story is messy and complicated. Mike - vibe is secret lab Jo - where are the gory elements? Marty - music seems like secret lab. Ryland - machinery seems advanced - not low budget. David seems like warhammer 40k District 9 Mike - Wheel chair mono wheel is cool Cesar - how are you going to present the organs? Mike - they are static even when we are ripping the organs from them? Marty - beds are too nice. Mike - fun, but all over the place

egingric commented 4 years ago

Add your name in your profile settings now!!!

joejobst commented 4 years ago

Everything needs further clarification as I have scope concerns so I did not vote for this. Is this a Butcher shop or surgical lab or does it start one way but end another? Story very complex too complex and not relatable... Sorry I don't harvest organs, and it seems like you are harvesting them from harvesters but them upset that they are wiping out your species, so all of a suddenly you have a conscious... idk tough sell for me and the market I represent. Need more clear viz dev, it lacks Amount of patients/corpses are a scope concern I mean I know you are into characters here, but this looks like too many patients are needed to stealth around. Stealthing is so much easier to relate to in 3rd person. so plus one to whoever said that. More storey clarity address character scope concerns. It does not need to be gorey, but it seems like it should be. but then that could be an additional concern.