ScarletStudy / DGS2-3DS-Release

Release repository for the 3DS version of The Great Ace Attorney 2 - The Resolve of Ryuunosuke Naruhodou
56 stars 0 forks source link

Various Typos and Grammar Issues - Episode 2 of DGS2 #5

Open earlgreyincarnate opened 4 years ago

earlgreyincarnate commented 4 years ago

Hey, here are some various typos and grammar issues that I noticed. Note that a lot of these are REALLY nitpicky because you guys did such a great job with the translation and editing. I enjoyed this episode so much.

General things: Examples of a possessive apostrophe when there should be an additional S Meterman: But that was the boss' orders! I'd give my life for the boss!

Similarly, every instance of "Duncan Ross'" should actually be "Duncan Ross's" -- look up possessive rules for the name James if you're doubtful of this. Maybe the rules are different for British English, though, I don't know.

Naruhodou: You're monitoring the gas' flickering.

Pretency: Yes... That sweet gas' sinful scent indeed filled the room of one Pretency.

Milady and Milord / My lady and My lord The use of "milady" and "milord" vs. "my lady" and "my lord" is inconsistent; it seems like writing out the word "my" is more common, but I'm not sure if there's a reason for the discrepancies (specific characters, etc.). I made note of "milady" and "milord" when I saw them, and if you'd like to change them, I can leave another comment with the examples I found.

The Letter The letter about Duncan Ross has different text on almost every occasion it's read. Here are the various times I noted. Aside from the apostrophe thing (which you guys may have a reason for), any of these are acceptable, I guess I just wanted to note that there are a few discrepancies.

Naruhodou: "I have to tell you something about Duncan Ross' death." Naruhodou: "I want to speak with you about Duncan Ross' death." Judge: "I want to speak with you about a Duncan Ross' death." Viridian: "There is something I must tell you regarding Duncan Ross' death."

Quotation Marks The formatting for the quotation marks is correct almost across the board, with the quotes placed outside of the punctuation. However, there were a few points where that was not the case:

Holmes: "'Good morning'? But it's almost midday!"

Naruhodou: (Yeah, "accidentally". Sure.)

Naruhodou: Did you get the chance to learn this "important information"?

First Investigation Day Gregson: "Last night, I drunk that luscious poison and nearly met with death."

Gregson: "The detestable perpetrator is that Souseki Natsume!"

Gregson: More specifically, it happened in the victim, one Mr William Pretency's, room.

Naruhodou: Souseki. You returned to your room at 11:00 PM, correct? Souseki: Yes, I do! As the English say.

First Trial Day van Zieks: Putting the matter of the most interesting and historical of literary debates aside for now...

Juror 5: You buncha twits! I don't give a monkey's about the verdict. I just wanna leave!

Juror 3: One, two, three, one, two, three. Just like a waltz! You see what I'm getting at?

Naruhodou: (Does he think he's in a courtroom, or a ballet recital?)

Altamont: We instal them in all rooms that use our gas.

Naruhodou: How long has this been going on for?

Naruhodou: Naturally, it would turn to ice, thanks to the sub-zero temperatures.

Second Investigation Day Naruhodou: I didn't expect an even more bizarre story to be the lead-in to this bizarre story.

Holmes: Some dry out used tea leaves, dye them, and then try to sell them as luxury items.

Naruhodou: (I have to spray every suspicious-looking nook and cranny!)

Naruhodou: There's the handprints on the floor, and then there's the handprints on the wall.

Souseki: It may be impossible for anything good to come to me. Souseki: What with this cursed, dead-end life I live!

Naruhodou: (I only hope your heart can still go on, Souseki.)

Naruhodou: It's a cut-out of a news article that we found in Mr Pretency's room.

Souseki: Now, he's trying to take the life of a hunchback, moustachioed Japanese man!

Second Trial Day Juror 6: My Lord, may you guide these lost little lambs to a righteous judgement.

van Zieks: That evening, the victim drunk extremely salty tea.

Pretency: The one who poisoned me... is the detestable, moustachioed Japanese man there!

van Zieks: How foolish. It's futile to continue this vain struggle when judgement has already been cast.

van Zieks: ...Has yet to be proven at this time. It would behove you to remain aware of that.

Not an issue, but I was just curious if when Holmes says "Zvarri" it was also in the Japanese? Takumi slipped that reference into Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney as well, and here we do have another great detective character, so I wouldn't put it past him.

Susato: Perhaps he had a certain reason for changing venue that evening.

Pretency: Then, the night that Japanese man visited me... the letter was spirited away!

(I think this is just a generic "wrong answer" exchange, but I got it here) Judge: I'm sorry, but I can't say I agree. Naruhodou: Me, neither! I was just bringing it up!

van Zieks: Selden's files?! How did you get your hands on this?!

van Zieks: "Dragged £1,000 to the Grave." Once he was gone, so too was the jewellery.

Souseki: It was then that I was forced to experience a lifetime's worth of human trial and tribulation.

I did have one more question (since I haven't typed enough). I got to thinking about Barok van Ziek's name during this episode. Obviously it's not a huge thing, because I didn't even register for the entire first game, but is there a reason you went with "van" rather than "von?" "von" indicates royalty or nobility, which I'm assuming he is, because they refer to him using the title "Lord Barok van Zieks." "van," on the other hand, was used by commoners when they wanted to sound more like nobility or make a better impression, but didn't have the birthright to use "von." For instance, this is actually the reason it was added to Ludwig van Beethoven's name; he wasn't nobility, but his father wanted to make him sound more esteemed than the average commoner to entice possible sponsors.

That's all I've got. Fantastic episode. Fantastic translation. Most of these are just suggestions or minor issues you might validly disagree about anyway.

Wendy-Youngbag commented 4 years ago

Hey, thanks for these. I'll go through and address each point now.

General things: Examples of a possessive apostrophe when there should be an additional S

This is more a stylistic choice than a rule. In our case, we prefer just to add a single apostrophe after a word which already ends in 's' (whether singular or plural) to indicate the possessive.

The van Zieks thing was the same in the original!

>Milady and Milord / My lady and My lord

We distinguish based on character. Characters with a particularly high register will use "My Lord/Lady", whereas most other characters will contract it.

The Letter

Thanks - I've made sure that these are all consistant now.

Quotation Marks

British English conventions are different from American English conventions on this, but to sum up: British English prefers to place punctuation outside a quote, unless that punctuation already exists inside the quote. The examples you've given are all correct according to British English conventions.

Gregson's drunk

Thank you - fixed!

Gregson: "The detestable perpetrator is that Souseki Natsume!"

Agreed and fixed.

Gregson: More specifically, it happened in the victim, one Mr William Pretency's, room.

The original sounds a little better to me, personally, so I'm leaving it as is for now.

Souseki: Yes, I do! As the English say.

You are correct. It's a lot clearer in the Japanese, since he's actually speaking in English in this line.

van Zieks: Putting the matter of the most interesting and historical of literary debates aside for now...

Thanks - fixed.

Juror 5: You buncha twits! I don't give a monkey's about the verdict. I just wanna leave!

This is cockney slang - "I don't give a monkey's" is a more polite version of the full phrase, which you can find here: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/give_a_monkey%27s (and I'm not going to repeat lol)

Juror 3: One, two, three, one, two, three. Just like a waltz! You see what I'm getting at?

I think I agree, but I'm not confident enough to change it straight out, so I'mma bring it to the team and see what others think - then change it accordingly or not.

Naruhodou: (Does he think he's in a courtroom, or a ballet recital?)

This was me trying to be funny. I've fixed it to ballroom (lemme know if that doesn't work).

Altamont: We instal them in all rooms that use our gas.

Yep - old British English spelling

Naruhodou: How long has this been going on for?

Seems fine to me, given Ryuu's usual register. This is something I'd say irl as well

Naruhodou: Naturally, it would turn to ice, thanks to the sub-zero temperatures.

Oxford has it with a hyphen: https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/sub-zero?q=subzero

Naruhodou: I didn't expect an even more bizarre story to be the lead-in to this bizarre story.

Yeah, this is funny one. I've gone ahead and rewritten it.

Holmes: Some dry out used tea leaves, dye them, and then try to sell them as luxury items.

Changed the first "some" to "they".

Naruhodou: (I have to spray every suspicious-looking nook and cranny!)

Unfortunately this isn't in the original Japanese. It's just a result of having a particularly ardent Edgeworth fan on the team.

Naruhodou: There's the handprints on the floor, and then there's the handprints on the wall. Thanks - fixed.

Souseki: It may be impossible for anything good to come to me. Souseki: What with this cursed, dead-end life I live!

Agreed and fixed.

Naruhodou: (I only hope your heart can still go on, Souseki.)

Not in the Japanese, as you may have guessed, but glad you appreciate it!

Naruhodou: It's a cut-out of a news article that we found in Mr Pretency's room.

Oxford has the hyphen: https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/cut-out_1?q=cut-out

Souseki: Now, he's trying to take the life of a hunchback, moustachioed Japanese man!

Fixed!

Juror 6: My Lord, may you guide these lost little lambs to a righteous judgement.

Both spellings are correct here. As for the lamb thing, it doesn't seem to be a running gag at all (though please enlighten me if I'm not remembering. I can only find two lines in the script, one in singular and one in plural).

Thanks for these! I'm gonna take a break now and get to the rest later.

Wendy-Youngbag commented 4 years ago

van Zieks: That evening, the victim drunk extremely salty tea.

Fixed.

Pretency: The one who poisoned me... is the detestable, moustachioed Japanese man there!

Fixed.

van Zieks: ...Has yet to be proven at this time. It would behove you to remain aware of that.

"At this time" was present in the Japanese, so I'm keeping it. As you may have suspected, behove is a British spelling.

Not an issue, but I was just curious if when Holmes says "Zvarri" it was also in the Japanese? Takumi slipped that reference into Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney as well, and here we do have another great detective character, so I wouldn't put it past him.

Yes and no. "Zvarri" is a transliteration of the common Japanese word ズバリ which means "precisely" or "exactly". Although Atmey uses his own variation of this word in the Japanese, the word itself is not unique to him. Sherlock uses the regular word in the Japanese, not the Atmey-variant of it. But since he did, we decided to take the opportunity to put that in.

Susato: Perhaps he had a certain reason for changing venue that evening.

Fixed.

Pretency: Then, the night that Japanese man visited me... the letter was spirited away!

What he should be saying is "by the night that..." - I'll go and fix it.

(I think this is just a generic "wrong answer" exchange, but I got it here) Judge: I'm sorry, but I can't say I agree. Naruhodou: Me, neither! I was just bringing it up!

Removed the comma.

van Zieks: Selden's files?! How did you get your hands on this?!

Fixed.

van Zieks: "Dragged £1,000 to the Grave." Once he was gone, so too was the jewellery.

He seems to be just quoting the article itself. Fixed.

Souseki: It was then that I was forced to experience a lifetime's worth of human trial and tribulation.

I don't think it would fit as well here as Souseki's original line given his register, but maybe we'll have that reference in elsewhere.

I did have one more question (since I haven't typed enough). I got to thinking about Barok van Ziek's name during this episode. Obviously it's not a huge thing, because I didn't even register for the entire first game, but is there a reason you went with "van" rather than "von?" "von" indicates royalty or nobility, which I'm assuming he is, because they refer to him using the title "Lord Barok van Zieks." "van," on the other hand, was used by commoners when they wanted to sound more like nobility or make a better impression, but didn't have the birthright to use "von." For instance, this is actually the reason it was added to Ludwig van Beethoven's name; he wasn't nobility, but his father wanted to make him sound more esteemed than the average commoner to entice possible sponsors.

His name in the Japanese original is "van Zieks". "van" just means "of" in Dutch, and can be used in names too. (although his name doesn't make sense in Dutch otherwise).

earlgreyincarnate commented 4 years ago

Hey! Thanks for taking the time to explain all that stuff. The quotation mark stuff still looks distracting to me, since it goes back and forth, but at least I understand why now.

As for the running gag about Juror 6 referring to himself as a “lost little lamb” — it may only occur twice in the script here, but unless I’m remembering incorrectly, it appears multiple times in the first DGS as well. I thought it was a callback line here.