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ShaotongLi-Max / Mental_health_issue_related_to_major_crime

This contains all data, scripts, the whole paper and etc about STA304 Paper 1
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Peer Review #3

Open Wang20030509 opened 2 days ago

Wang20030509 commented 2 days ago

Peer Review by Doran Wang

Opening statement summary

The paper examines the relationship between mental health issues and crime, focusing on Mental Health Act Apprehensions and major crime indicators in several Toronto police divisions The paper uses city data and compares major crime indicators across several Toronto police divisions, finding that mental health-related interventions could help reduce crime rates while supporting affected individuals.

Strong positive points

The paper's title is a significant and socially meaningful social issue worth exploring. It presents a clear and focused analysis of a relevant social issue, using comprehensive data collected over a long period. It has a complete paper structure and many very clear and intuitive figures.

Critical improvements needed

You have 2 subtitles with graphs only such as “3.1 Results of MHA Apprehensions Data”, I'm not sure if you didn't have time to write the results of sections 3 and 4 or if you just used the Figures to represent the results. From my perspective, I think maybe you could put sections 3, 4, and 5 in one section with the title "result", and then the information about the data in section "3. Mental Health Act Apprehensions Data" could be put in "2 Data". Another way is to delete the subheadings that contain figures like 3.1, and 4.1, or add one or two paragraphs of information to them. The main reason is that I don't think your Section 3/4 needs to be divided into subheadings 3.1/4.1 because you don't have another subheading like 3.2. It's just a little weird from a reader's perspective, of course, the overall structure is great.

Suggestions for improvement:

From the reader's perspective, it would be better if the section “2. data” can have more information, and sections (e.g. overview data, clean data). That is, you can split the section about how to clean data in section 2 and the other sections into two smaller sections 2.1 and 2.2, or any.

Please consider adding/changing/removing:

  1. Changing the 3.1 and 4.1 sections.
  2. Adding more subsections to section “2 data”.

Evaluation:

Based on the criteria provided in the syllabus, this paper currently demonstrates solid data analysis and a well-defined research question.

Estimated mark:

99 out of 100.

Reason:

personally think you are doing great. Your topic is what I'm interested in so I like your paper, just modify some small details and you will get 100.

ShaotongLi-Max commented 2 days ago

thx for review! I was thinking of changing "results" into "demonstration" and expand section 5. You are right I forgot to change the subtitle haha