[multistage][feature] revisit RelDistribution detection logic

[walterddr]

This discussion stems from: #11976

Status quo

we currently

1. explicitly insert logical exchanges where we might require data shuffling; and
2. then determine whether those exchanges are real data shuffle or possible passthrough;
3. then we determine whether to assign more/less servers to run either side of the exchanges

Current solution

This PR (#11976) only addresses step-2: to give it a better idea on whether the RelDistribution is the same before & after an exchange. for this purpose, it is OK (at this point) to only keep one of the 2 sides for JOIN Rel.

Needs revisit

there are several problems

1. should we explicitly insert exchange or should we use other abstractions?
   • there are other ways to add exchange nodes that are more "Calcite-suggested" when managing the Exchange insert instead of applying them during optimization IMO.
2. should the exchange insert be RelDistribution-based or physical-based?
   • we are mixing the concept of Exchange usage: it can mean (1) altering logical RelDistribution, (2) indicating there potentially could be physical layout differences, (3) whether we can apply leaf-stage optimization
   • although (3) will be addressed by #11937, we should consider whether to still use ExchangeNode as our abstraction or create our own to avoid confusion
3. should we apply RelDistribution trait before or after Exchange insert
   • currently we have to do this after insert, but technically if we addresses question (2) we can potentially apply that beforehand

ultimately utilizing Exchange was a quick decision during early stage multi-stage engine development and it might not have been the best option. it is worth taking some time to revisit

[walterddr]

CC @xiangfu0 @Jackie-Jiang @ankitsultana