A client requested rewrites on an article that is meant to advertise a webinar they recently hosted. Here is the client's feedback:
"I believe it is missing detail for the webinar
In the YouTube Link recording provided there was the following paragraph:
In this webinar learn from Growth Development Manager of San Diego Gas & Electric (SDG&E), Stephen Johnston, as he shares how SDG&E is using fuel cell-based technology to ensure a relaxed blackstart process and improve customer service. In addition, learn from Gil Shavit, Chief BD Officer at GenCell all about the fuel cell-based GenCell G5rx utility backup power solution. The webinar will cover how fuel-cell power can help you ensure continuous control of critical utility substation assets, keep auto-reclosers powered up during extreme weather events, reach environmental friendly goals and ensure your utility is low noise to make your neighbours happy
This should already give you the base of what the webinar is about and where the important points should be.
Few examples:
• SDG&E – first sentence here, not even mentioned in the webinar blog. We worked only with SDG&E and not with a number of utilities as mentioned in the blog.
• Stephen Johnston – so essential in the Webinar and he wasn't mentioned.
• Gil Shavit – wrong name in the Webinar
As for the blog Content:
• We are a 5kw fuel cell that provides back up for the critical utility substation assets. Which means we extend power to the control & command center or important facilities within the substation so that when there is a black out we eliminate the need for a complete black start. A sentence like this one: “. GenCell’s webinar explained how fuel cells can be used to restore power to electrical grids faster and more easily than ever before possible” Is simply not correct. It’s very general and high level and does not touch what we actually do.
• Stephen stressed in his saying that the reason for choosing GenCell was that there was a need for green technology and low noise due to surrounding communities. He mentioned that GenCell’s technology was comparable in price. We never stressed the cost effectiveness as stressed in the written blog.
The person who wrote the blog clearly understands energy and renewables, but I feel that she used her own knowledge to write what she thinks about the topic without making adjustments to what was actually discussed in the webinar which was more of a specific topic.
The fact that SDGE came on is a very strong endorsement for us and that’s one of the top points we want to make."
Please review the webinar linked at the bottom of the article and add additional details as requested by the client. The webinar is 50 mins long, so it's probably best to take notes as you listen and then integrate them into the draft. Let me know what you think, and thanks as always!
Project: TOP Budget: 1.5 hr
A client requested rewrites on an article that is meant to advertise a webinar they recently hosted. Here is the client's feedback:
"I believe it is missing detail for the webinar
In the YouTube Link recording provided there was the following paragraph:
In this webinar learn from Growth Development Manager of San Diego Gas & Electric (SDG&E), Stephen Johnston, as he shares how SDG&E is using fuel cell-based technology to ensure a relaxed blackstart process and improve customer service. In addition, learn from Gil Shavit, Chief BD Officer at GenCell all about the fuel cell-based GenCell G5rx utility backup power solution. The webinar will cover how fuel-cell power can help you ensure continuous control of critical utility substation assets, keep auto-reclosers powered up during extreme weather events, reach environmental friendly goals and ensure your utility is low noise to make your neighbours happy
This should already give you the base of what the webinar is about and where the important points should be.
Few examples: • SDG&E – first sentence here, not even mentioned in the webinar blog. We worked only with SDG&E and not with a number of utilities as mentioned in the blog. • Stephen Johnston – so essential in the Webinar and he wasn't mentioned. • Gil Shavit – wrong name in the Webinar
As for the blog Content:
• We are a 5kw fuel cell that provides back up for the critical utility substation assets. Which means we extend power to the control & command center or important facilities within the substation so that when there is a black out we eliminate the need for a complete black start. A sentence like this one: “. GenCell’s webinar explained how fuel cells can be used to restore power to electrical grids faster and more easily than ever before possible” Is simply not correct. It’s very general and high level and does not touch what we actually do. • Stephen stressed in his saying that the reason for choosing GenCell was that there was a need for green technology and low noise due to surrounding communities. He mentioned that GenCell’s technology was comparable in price. We never stressed the cost effectiveness as stressed in the written blog.
The person who wrote the blog clearly understands energy and renewables, but I feel that she used her own knowledge to write what she thinks about the topic without making adjustments to what was actually discussed in the webinar which was more of a specific topic.
The fact that SDGE came on is a very strong endorsement for us and that’s one of the top points we want to make."
Please review the webinar linked at the bottom of the article and add additional details as requested by the client. The webinar is 50 mins long, so it's probably best to take notes as you listen and then integrate them into the draft. Let me know what you think, and thanks as always!