Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd known Earlier, Kevin Kelly (100%)

While listening to someone you love, keep asking them, "Is there more?" until there is no more.
Always demand a deadline because it weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. A deadline prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.
When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.
Don't measure your life with someone else's ruler.
When someone tells you what ticks them off, they are telling you what makes them tick.
You can't reason someone out of a notion that they didn't reason themselves into.
Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.
Whenever you have a choice between being right or being kind, be kind. No exceptions. Don't confuse kindness with weakness.
[[Draw to discover what you see]]. Write to discover what you think.
Habit is far more dependable than inspiration. Make progress by making habits. Don't focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout.
The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they'll find you. To be interesting, be interested.
Tend to the small things. Many people are defeated by blisters than by mountains.
You lead by letting others know what you expect of them, which may exceed what they themselves expect. Provide them a reputation that they can step up to.
If you ask for someone's feedback, you'll get a critic. But if you instead you ask for advice, you'll get a partner.
Nothing elevates a person higher than taking responsibility for their mistakes. If you mess up, fess up. It' astounding how powerful this ownership is.
Perhaps the most counter intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you'll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.
Don't be in haste. When you are in a hurry you are more easily conned or manipulated.
You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.
When someone is nasty, hateful, or mean toward you, treat their behavior like an affliction or illness they have. That makes it easier to have #empathy toward them, which can soften the conflict.
Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don't know what you are passionate about. A better path for most youth is "master something." Through mastery of one thing, you'll command a viewpoint to steadily find where your bliss is. #career-advice
To quiet a crowd or a drunk, just whisper.
When in doubt, overtip.
Don't let someone else's urgency become your emergency. In fact, don't be governed by the urgent of any sort. Focus on the important. The urgent is a tyrant. The important should be your king. Down with the tyranny of the urgent!
The foolish person winds up doing at the end what the smart person does at the beginning.
For marital bliss, take turns allowing each partner to be always right.
Recipe for success: under process and over deliver.
Work to become, not to acquire.
When brainstorming, improvising, jamming with others, you'll go much further and deeper if you build upon each contribution with a playful "yes and" example instead of a deflating "no but" reply.
You will complete your mission in life when you figure out what your mission in life is. Your purpose is to discover your purpose. This is not a paradox. This in the way.
It is much easier to change how you think by changing your behavior than it is to change your behavior by changing how you think. Act out the change you seek.
You'll learn a lo more if you ask people "how are you sleeping?" instead of "how are you doing?"
You can reduce the annoyance of someone's stupid belief by increasing your understanding of why they believe it.
Your behavior, not your opinions will change the world.
Your growth as a mature being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.
The four most powerful words in any negotiation should be uttered by you: "Can you do better?"
What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days.
You'll get 10 times better results by elevating good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior, especially in children and animals.
Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks, even if you believe it is not deserved.
Make others feel they are important; it will make their day and it will make your day.
You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.
A wise man said: Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, "Is it true?" At the second gate ask, "Is it necessary?" At the third gate ask, "Is it kind?"
Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone, because when you trust the best in others, they generally treat you best.
Do more of what looks like work to others but is play for you.
The stronger your beliefs, the stronger your reasons to question them regularly. Don't simply believe everything you think you believe.
The real test of your character is not how you deal with adversity - although that will teach you much. The real test is how you deal with power. The only cure for power is humility and admission that your power comes from luck. The small person believes they are superior; the superior person knows they are lucky.
Unhappiness comes from wanting what others have. Happiness comes from wanting what you already have.
To get your message across, follow this formula used by ad writers everywhere: simplify, simplify, simplify, then exaggerate.
If we all threw our troubles into a big pile and we saw everyone else's problems, we would immediately grab ours back.
[[Your heart needs to be as educated as your mind]]
You can't change your past, but you can change your story about it. What is important is not what happened to you but what you did about what happened to you.
Make one to throw away. The only way to write a great book is to first write an awful book. Ditto for a movie, song, piece of furniture, or anything.
Anger is not the proper response to anger. When you see someone angry you are seeing their pain. Compassion is the proper response to anger.
Your flaws and your strengths are two poles of the same traits. For instance, there is only a tiny difference between stubbornness and perseverance or between courage and foolishness. The sole difference is in the goal. It's stupid stubbornness and reckless foolishness if the goal does not matter, and relentless perseverance and courage if it does. To earn dignity with your flaws, own up to them, and make sure you push on things that matter.
Is is impossible for you to become poor by giving. It is impossible for you to become wealthy without giving.
Don't attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence.
Be extremely stingy in making promises because you must be generous in keeping them.
The big dirty secret is tat everyone, especially the famous, are just making it up as they go along.
To lower tensions during a dispute, mirror the other person's body language.
When you can't decide ask yourself, "Which choice will pay off more later than now?" The easy choice pays off right away. The best choice will pay off at the end.
As long as an idea stays in your head it is perfect. But perfect things are never real. Immediately put an idea down into words, or in a sketch, or as a cardboard prototype. Now your idea is much closer to reality because it is imperfect.
First, always ask you what you want. Works in relationships, business, life.
Curiosity is fatal to certainty. The more curious you are, the less certain you will be.
When you keep people waiting, they begin to think of all your flaws.
Your best teacher is your last mistake.
Don't define yourself by your opinions, because then you can't change your mind. Define yourself by your values.
Your ideal partner is not someone you never disagree with but someone you are glad to disagree with.
Being curious about another person's view is the most powerful way to change their view.
The rich have money. The wealthy have time. It is easier to become wealthy than rich.
If your sense of responsibility is not expanding as you grow, you are not really growing.
The natural state of all possessions is to need repair and maintenance. What you own will eventually own you. Choose selectively.

ciwchris / books

Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd known Earlier, Kevin Kelly (100%) #57