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clayborneo / Haiti-Project

A project that is fun to work on but also taking foreeeeeeeeeeever.
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Notes on 8/22 Cut #14

Closed clayborneo closed 9 years ago

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

Intro to family - do we want to show more people in the house to give us that sense of people coming and going? scenes of meals? scenes of people hanging out before/after funeral? any shots of many people milling about?

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

Feel like need to pare down the audio - images are working for me on their own a lot of the time. -during saint marc sequence, during lf/robin sequence. -feeling like we could just have one sentence describing st. marc, and then go right to his feelings about wanting to make a difference/his dream

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

HSM -try inverting VO about people from SM coming to HSM, lead with that, then have the part about him not spending time there as a child next, and cut out the rest. Could this be the spot for mama to lead in? -or maybe lead w/ memories? just have memories??? can also cut the 'mwen mwen' part.

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

Trash and Power -Try taking out all VO on trash -Try paring down electricity to just one or two lines: 'SM is a city that all the country', and 'nowadays' -maybe lead w/ him talking about radio. maybe we invert the power stuff so radio first then ice cream?

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

Junior -Lead w/ Mama on Junior? then shorten what we have? -maybe junior in the morning sequence comes earlier (nearer to the family)? and then leads to them talking briefly about junior, and we see him in the day? -then just have him singing in the spot we have him now, so that sequence is briefer