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clayborneo / Haiti-Project

A project that is fun to work on but also taking foreeeeeeeeeeever.
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Structure Thread #18

Closed clayborneo closed 9 years ago

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

--dodo not mention st. marc in initial intro; rather, we add some more about his childhood in that sequence. --then we have him intro the st. marc sequence with ‘i moved with my family to saint marc when i was a child...’ and develop his voice more, add more reflections before the ‘i have a dream for this city’ line

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

-move HSM stuff later -do we need to build in narrative over HSM... or no?? -move the 'i have a dream for this city' thought after power? then HSM (combine HSM w/ market, extend that sequence?), then kites? -don't think we need as much from papa if we use his voice at the beginning -maybe we go: papa, dodo's first memory, then dodo name + intro? -talk about sharing food maybe works better earlier? in SM intro section? -ORRRRRR: dodo intro, then church guy's song intro w/ kite + papa + dodo's 1st memory? -ending sequence: space out the lines a bit more? -like the Taino music over the kids flipping... maybe finish with montage of shots + church guy fading in to make that work?

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

-New viz for Dodo starting to read quote. -Kite audio towards end of kite viz could be workin -HSM section clean-up -Trash comes after power, then more shots of SM as he talks about 'i have a dream for this city'

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

trash section - maybe have a little of the audio back in this part? seems like it could lead in to him expressing something about his view of change

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

-Like timing of Dodo intro now - feel like i just want a line or two more to give us a sense of him b/t i am a young man...' and 'that is kind of what...' -Maybe have the LF audio a little closer to the previous shot? -Like the touch of having Pierre there as more of a presence. Like how this is building. -Feeling like we need just a little more elevation in this opening sequence. Really like how it establishes Dodo, think it's the strongest we've started so far. Maybe we just need to bring in music/sound design elements in the right spots to make this work? -Maybe we invert some of the dialogue around 'my mom would cook for the 5 of us' so we end with the 'everybody shares w/ each other' lines -Maybe we introduce church guy's song earlier, and then have him talk kites more during kite part (w/ just short musical opening?) -HSM - feel like the 'stories of winemaking...' lines could come right after the memories, before he talks factories at all. Can still leave the 'i don't have a lot of knowledge' line where it is. -want for music/short montage between JM talking trees and Mireille -'I am one of the people who want to stay here' should come after we cut to foot man mebbe? -Single day structure? Start with morning?

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

9/4 -Visual possibilities while Pierre talks a/b Dodo: -Start with image/series of images while Pierre talks, that transitions to kite shot around 'you kept to yourself somewhat' -Viz to try: kids eating cane; Dodo talking w/ LF or Robin; Dodo in church

clayborneo commented 9 years ago

9/16 Beginning: Do we want to hold on that initial shot and have some ambient sound there (waves?) Viz + audio ideas for Pierre on Dodo and Dodo intro Kites: fade in/out audio of him talking with kids about kites earlier? Radio before kites? What about radio --> trash --> kites? Draw a connection between footman and Dodo at Taino during the 'So what's the problem?' section? Audio montage that goes to waves that Dodo's 'In my imagination..' comes out of Like the cannons/symbols direction for the end now