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colindamelio / saraswati

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Copy Feedback (to be implemented) #20

Open johnathanfong opened 5 years ago

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

Please check when complete! And update with the PR (or commit) beside the line-item:

Landing Page

Culture Page

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

A lot of "APPLY NOW" + "SEE ALL ACTIVITIES" CTA groups; would you be better off fixing it to the bottom of the screen?

This is my fault, because I copy+pasted data while duplicating CTAs. I will update this.

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

"our goal is to ensure you have a strong foundation", of what?

Front-End Web Development (fixed) OR as an emerging front-end web developer ? OR our goal is to ensure you have the best knowledge and tools as you embark on your front-end web development journey (this sounds kind of cheesy but is in-line with the whole retreat narrative)

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

"Providing you an authentic Balinese Experience.". Shouldn't this be "Providing you WITH an authentic Balinese Experience."

This was updated already to Providing you with authentic Balinese experiences.

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

"Saraswati Retreats strives to educate our guests beyond coding their website ". "Coding their website" sounds sloppy.

@JesseNoseworthy how about beyond front-end fundamentals?

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

Save big when you register early for upcoming retreats! See retreat dates for Early Bird cut-off." This is gramatically incorrect. Personalize it by injecting "Our" where possible; "Our Early Bird cut-off", "our upcoming retreats.

Updated to: 

Enjoy discounted pricing and secure your spot by registering early for our upcoming retreats! See retreat dates for our Early Bird cut-offs.
johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

We could Hyperlink a map to the accomodations, to provide more credibility.

Could be a nice "future feature", but the link to Villa Malaathina Official Website has more information etc. I've also elaborated on the villa amenities to be a bit more enticing/informative.

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

"Located in the charming village of Umalas, near Seminyak, Villa Malaathina – set among 5,000 square metres of immaculate tropical gardens and surrounded by traditional Balinese rice paddies – is home for the duration of our retreat." is gramatically incorrect.

Updated to: During our 2-week retreat, Villa Malaathina is your luxurious home. Located near Seminyak in the charming village of Umalas, Villa Malaathina is surrounded by 5,000 square metres of immaculate tropical gardens and traditional Balinese rice paddies.

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

"Without a doubt, Bali is beautiful. However, most people who visit the island miss an opportunity to discover authentic Balinese Culture." What is the goal of this copy? I know there is authentic cuisine here, but why comment negatively about other travellers?

Hmmm I guess my aunt is trying to find a way to describe Bali from a local perspective. I could probably elaborate on this point

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

@JesseNoseworthy 

Without a doubt, Bali is beautiful. Beyond the tropical forests and white-sand beaches, Saraswati retreats invites you to discover the island's rich cultural history and experience first-hand local traditions

Tried to make this point a bit more positive and inviting. Thoughts? cc @nsbtr @colindamelio

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

Header: Feels tall; we could shrink it to a smaller "truncated" height on scroll

I reduced this to: 80px, 60px and 40px

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

Find a better way to communicate it's FRANCES who is from Bali. The team is from Canada.

This will be handled on a new ABOUT page. Right now we're just focusing on the retreat invitations

johnathanfong commented 5 years ago

Changing to priority-low because most of these items are complete. May also close this issue and open up new ones for individual items remaining.