Doby Mick; or, the excessively-Spoonerized Whale

[cpressey]

Cat's Eye Technologies' NaNoGenLab ("we're not proud") is proud to proffer the following submission for NaMoDiGenMo and maybe even NaNoGenMo too:

~ DOBY MICK ~

or, the excessively-Spoonerized Whale.

by Merman Helville.

Also available:

~ Moby Wick; or, The Dale ~

a.k.a. the lite version, a.k.a. the version in which all the Spoonerisms consist only of dictionary words, a.k.a. the version which you might want to switch to reading instead after you feel like you are being lexically pummeled while reading Doby Mick and you decide you are not fond of that sensation particularly much.

NOTE:

These texts contain language and statements which could easily be interpreted as being offensive. I have elected to not try to prevent this, nor edit it out after the fact, for the following reasons:

• Artistic integrity.
• Narrated by a sailor anyway.
• Set in a less socially enlightened age than modern times anyway.
• Defeating an auto-Spoonerizer is rather difficult. Stop it from choosing one pair of words because you think the result sounds rude, and it'll just pick a different pair of words that you didn't think of that sounds even ruder. The only feasible option would be to proofread and edit the whole thing after the fact, and I'm not prepared to make that kind of time investment, sorry.
• Artistic integrity oh that again.

Having given that disclaimer, here are the texts:

• Doby Mick
• Moby Wick, or, the Dale

Generated by the advanced-spoonerizer with the command-line options --exclude-dictionary="and,the" --disable-picking="and" and, for the "lite" version, --dictionary-words-only. Input text from Project Gutenberg, stripped of headers by some throwaway code which is still in the git history actually. Only the titles and bylines were hand-tweaked for aesthetic effect (although the spoonerizer does generate them, if given those clauses with the "right" punctuation and spelling.)

[MichaelPaulukonis]

Right off the bat, you're being offensive with _Doby Mick_, you bloody limey bastard damnable expat Yank!

[cpressey]

@MichaelPaulukonis my retort: (a) Mick Jagger (plus Lisa Doby = ???) (b) The UN-spoonerized title of this work has NEVER been used in an off-colour context, EVER (c) baby-seal-clubbing Hoser, actually (d) artistic integrity (e) we're not proud.

[michelleful]

Wonderful! I was hoping someone would Spoonerize something!

[cpressey]

Glad you like it, @michelleful. Being a landlubber myself, every time I read it, I sink I'm gonna be thick.