I got started a little early because I can't help myself.
Here's what I've done so far, using just synonyms and some cleverness:
Original:
This stuff is the worst thing that I have ever seen and I want to really get rid of whoever came up with that stuff. Please ban this sick filth. Sincerely, Steve Buscemi.
Twisted:
This cram is the discomfit appurtenances so M'Ass exact once versed together with My Ass need a royally have destroy a whoever came standing plus yon stuff. Please dit this weak filth. Sincerely, Steve Buscemi.
I got started a little early because I can't help myself.
Here's what I've done so far, using just synonyms and some cleverness:
Original:
Twisted:
https://github.com/barbeque/well-actually