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High-level actions #19

Open darwinrlo opened 4 years ago

darwinrlo commented 4 years ago

Emotions are a reality. To neglect them is to be irrational.

darwinrlo commented 4 years ago

The feeling of being wronged will often persist ー unwillingly by the feeler ー until they receive a gesture that indicates genuine contrition, such as a heartfelt apology. For truly egregious wrongdoing, an apology may not suffice: They may feel unsettled until the other party is punished commensurately.

indignation

darwinrlo commented 4 years ago

If someone does something nice for you ー does you a favor, gives you a gift, or even surprises you with an unexpected act of kindness ー they will often not feel rewarded until they receive an expression of appreciation. Sometimes, they will feel unsettled. Even wronged -- they may get angry at you. If you want someone to keep doing nice things for you ー or at the very least maintain a sense of goodwill ー be sure to express thanks when they do so.

darwinrlo commented 4 years ago

If someone tells you something, they will often not feel like you heard them until you accurately reflect back to them what they said. They may repeat themselves over and over again ー this is done unconsciously and seems to be deeply ingrained: I have observed this behavior in children as young as 5 years old. Listen attentively and cultivate the ability to reflect back what someone said to you in your own words.

In fact, unless what someone said is very simple, I don't think we can truly understand what they're saying without this step. At best, we absorb key words and phrases. For true understanding, we have to take these key words and phrases and re-synthesize them into concepts -- that hopefully match the original concepts -- by putting them into our own words.