The main thing I would want to do is to widen the first section on sin to include a broader reference to our brokenness. In my view, sin/brokenness is not only our conscience or sub-conscience decisions of rebellion, but also includes actions made against us by others, or the brokenness of our particular context. (These include brokenness that God allows so that "the works of God might be displayed" John 9, also see Genesis 46:3–4, Job 13:15, Romans 9.)
The main thing I would want to do is to widen the first section on sin to include a broader reference to our brokenness. In my view, sin/brokenness is not only our conscience or sub-conscience decisions of rebellion, but also includes actions made against us by others, or the brokenness of our particular context. (These include brokenness that God allows so that "the works of God might be displayed" John 9, also see Genesis 46:3–4, Job 13:15, Romans 9.)