fonnesbeck
commented
9 years ago After an initial review of the paper here are some comments. I hope they are helpful.
Line 41: single sentences are not paragraphs. The introduction section is not very coherent, and is just a selection of rugby facts. For example, I'm not sure why the average player information is relevant. I recommend reworking the introduction to make it more readable, and better introduce the subject.
Line 41: The tilde ~ symbol is more conventional as a symbol for "distributed as" than an equal sign; its not clear why you would choose an unconventional symbol.
Line 44: not sure what "there is no need of the bivariate Poisson modelling." means. Please clarify.
Line 44: replace "We use here the result proved in" with "Here, we present the results shown by"
Line 44: I don't think this exposition will be clear for someone who is not very familiar with hierarchical models.
Line 44: Suggest changing "Moreover, as we are framed in a Bayesian context, prediction of a new game under the model is naturally accommodated by means the posterior predictive distribution." to "Moreover, since we are employing a Bayesian framework, the prediction of the outcome of a new game under the model is provided by the posterior predictive distribution."
Line 51: Since you are the only author, should be "My model"
Line 51: These sentence are non-coherent, and sections appear to be missing; please edit.
Line 56: "Let me introduce"
Line 110: Place "home" in inline code block. Same goes for all Python variables in the text. This makes it easier to read and follow.
Line 110: These three sentences should be combined into a paragraph. Avoid one-line paragraphs.
Line 131: Suggested re-wording: "Team strength is decomposed into attacking and defending strength components."
Line 139: Merge with line above into single paragraph.
Line 170: These three lines should be merged into a single paragraph and made more coherent. You say "important things", but then mention only one thing.
Line 179: Change "From the above we can start to understand" to "We can use the model above to help us estimate"
Line 189: Change "Here we in :ref:egfig can see an example of the figures you can generate, we are looking at the credibility intervals" into ":ref:egfig is an example of the type of figures that can be generated, which in this example is a forest plot of credible intervals."
Line 190: Change "The list of teams is" to "the estimated rankings of teams is"
Line 192: This paragraph is not very coherent. I suggest revising it, simplifying to include the major take-home message(s) of the paper.
springcoil
My submission of my paper.