Large memory allocations which are not tracked

[FelixYBW]

Description

In Gluten there is one common issue is "killed by yarn", the root cause is that some memory allocation usually the std::vector which bypasses memory pool track. Some of the std::vector can be very large like a commonly used per row std::vector<char*>. If row size is 1G, the vector size can be as large as 8G.

The ideal solution is to avoid the per row vector as much as possible. If we have to use it's better to track in memory pool by using std::vector<char, memory::StlAllocator<char>> and std::allocated_shared.

Here is a umbrella track of such allocations. Link to Gluten issue: https://github.com/apache/incubator-gluten/issues/6947

[FelixYBW]

11077 remove the per row vector allocation

[FelixYBW]

https://github.com/facebookincubator/velox/blob/9e1280a7223fa324b8307d379605bcfc89f8447a/velox/exec/SortBuffer.cpp#L121

Per row memory allocation. Sorted row is passed to std::sort. Looks we can't assign allocator

[FelixYBW]

https://github.com/facebookincubator/velox/blob/9e1280a7223fa324b8307d379605bcfc89f8447a/velox/exec/SortBuffer.cpp#L320

Potential per row allocation. Spill is already triggered, we should allocate it using spill_memorypool.