Comments from GenART AD

[mcr]

GEN AD review of draft-ietf-rats-architecture-21

CC @larseggert

Thanks to Gyan S. Mishra for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review (https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/weBLFxmD2doRWhcZDm-kGjv8m0A).

Comments

Boilerplate

This document uses the RFC2119 keyword ['SHOULD'], but does not contain the recommended RFC8174 boilerplate.

I don't think you need to add the boilerplate, simply rephrase the sentence so it is more clear that you are in fact citing RFC4086 here?

Inclusive language

Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and more guidance:

• Terms native and natively; alternatives might be built-in, fundamental, ingrained, intrinsic, original

Nits

All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you did with these suggestions.

Grammar/style

Section 2.6, paragraph 2

uthenticator. Relying Party: Any web site, mobile application back-end, or s
                                 ^^^^^^^^

Nowadays, it's more common to write this as one word.

Section 3, paragraph 2

em component, device is often used as a illustrative synonym throughout this
                                      ^

Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. "an article", "an hour".

Section 3, paragraph 4

l messages shown in Figure 1. Section Section 4 provides a more complete def
                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Possible typo: you repeated a word.

Section 3.2, paragraph 4

-entity can be called an Attester. Among all the Attesters, there may be onl
                                   ^^^^^

Do not mix variants of the same word ("among" and "amongst") within a single text. (Also elsewhere.)

Section 3.2, paragraph 5

 final Evidence to the Verifier. Therefore the router is a composite device,
                                 ^^^^^^^^^

A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Therefore".

Section 3.2, paragraph 6

t that connects to the Verifier. Typically one router in the group is design
                                 ^^^^^^^^^

A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Typically".

Section 4.1, paragraph 9

ation (e.g., birth certificate) is the the Evidence, the passport is an Attes
                                   ^^^^^^^

Possible typo: you repeated a word.

Section 5.2, paragraph 7

e Verifier is an expected one by out of band establishment of key material, c
                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^

Did you mean "out-of-band"?

Section 7.4, paragraph 1

e 1 illustrates the flow of a conceptual messages between various roles. This
                            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The plural noun "messages" cannot be used with the article "a". Did you mean "a conceptual message" or "conceptual messages"?

Section 7.5, paragraph 1

n Attester, which can include privacy sensitive information as discussed in s
                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.

Section 7.5, paragraph 2

ve information as discussed in section Section 11. Unlike Evidence, which is
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Possible typo: you repeated a word.

Section 9, paragraph 10

 new epoch, such as by using a counter signed by the Epoch ID Distributor as
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This word is normally spelled as one word.

Section 9, paragraph 10

essages that might be associated with a epoch ID that the receiver has not ye
                                      ^

Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. "an article", "an hour".

Section 9, paragraph 11

 ID approach minimizes the state kept to be independent of the number of Att
                                 ^^^^^^^^^^

The verb "kept" is used with the gerund form.

Section 11, paragraph 7

avoid attacks where an attacker is able get a key they control endorsed. To s
                                   ^^^^^^^^

The preposition "to" is required before the verb "get".

Section 11, paragraph 8

 authentication, * auditing, * fine grained access controls, and * logging. S
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^

This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.

Section 12.1.1, paragraph 1

pants in a certain epoch of choice for ever, effectively freezing time. This
                                   ^^^^^^^^

The adverb "forever" is spelled as one word.

station Result contains an expiry time time(RX_v) then it could explicitly ch
                                  ^^^^^^^^^

Possible typo: you repeated a word.

Section 16.2, paragraph 20

 it to its own clock or timestamps. Thus we use a suffix ("a" for Attester, "
                                    ^^^^

A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Thus".

"Appendix A.", paragraph 3

me(EG_a)-time(VG_a) < Threshold. Similarly if, based on an Attestation Resul
                                 ^^^^^^^^^

A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Similarly".

Notes