Closed suehares closed 4 months ago
No changes were made to Appendices A-D beyond the change to Color-EC.
I've renumbered the issues from the Shepherd's report in G4 Category to G-1 to G30.
None of the G4 Category issues are resolved.
-08-Status: Resolved G4-1a, G4-1b, G4-1c,
Edit-status: Your choice, but Problem G4-1a: Please use complete English sentences. Problem G4-1b: Using a period at the end of each item in a list is ok. The RFC editor usually allows periods in a list. Problem G4-1c: Introduce your list clearly. One example of an appropriate list introduction is the following: -06 text: / With reference to the topology above:/ New text:/ With reference to the topology above, the following occurs:/
-09-status: Resolved, closed -08-status: Not resolved. Old Text: / With reference to the Figure 6/ New text: / With reference to Figure 6, the following occurs:/
08-status: Resolved, Closed Old text:/IGP FA 128 is running in each domain, and mapped to Color C1/ New text:/IGP FA 128 is running in each domain, and mapped to Color C1./
-09-text status: resolved, closed -08-text status: Not resolved.
Why -07 change: Sentence Grammar (verb alignment and punctuation). Note: Changes are indicated in bold in the new text. Old text/
New text:/
-09 text:/
new text:/
-09-status: Resolved, closed -08-Status: Not Resolved
Note: Changed text is bolded in the new text to aid the reader of the problem report. Please remove the bold before adding the change to the text. Old Text:/
09-status: - resolved, closed 08-status: Partial resolution, 08-next-steps: Talk to DJ (4/24). What: replace ";" with ","** and edits for clear sentences. Note: I've bolded changes to make these easier to read. Please remove the bold before inserting in the text. -07 text:/
08-Status: Resolved, closed
Old text:/
08-status: Resolved, closed
Each of the sentences below needs a period. Old text:
Resource R represents link(s) or node(s) to be avoided
Flex-Algo FA128 in Domain 2 is mapped to "minimize IGP metric" and hence to C1
Flex-Algo FA129 in Domain 2 is mapped to "minimize IGP metric and avoid resource R" and hence to C2
Flex-Algo FA128 in Domain 1 is mapped to "minimize IGP metric"
-08-text: Resolved, closed Old text:/
E1 receives two service routes from E2:
E1 has the following color-aware paths:
E1 automatically steers the received service routes as follows:
E1 receives the following two service routes from E2:
E1 has the following color-aware paths:
(E2, C1) provided by BGP CAR with the following per-domain resolution:
o Domain1: over IGP FA128, and o Domain2: over IGP FA128.
E1 automatically steers the received service routes as follows:
-08-status: Resolved, closed
07-text:/
-08-status: resolved, closed
Old text:/ If D2 and D3 belonged to different color domains, the domains will coordinate the assignment of colors to be used with shared IP IP1 such that they do not cause conflicts. / New text:/ If D2 and D3 belong to different color domains, the domains will coordinate the assignment of colors with shared IP IP1 so that they do not cause conflicts. /
08-Status: Resolved, close Old text:/There are a variety of deployment scenarios that arise w.r.t different color mappings in an inter-domain environment/.
Why use w.r.t when the word "concerning" works? Note: w.r.t. was changed to "when"
-08-status: Resolved, closed Old text:/
With reference to the topology above:
Core domain provides 4 intra domain intents as described below: o FA128 mapped to C10 o FA129 mapped to C20 o FA130 mapped to C30 o FA131 mapped to C40
Access domain provides 2 intra domain intents o FA132 mapped to C1 o FA133 mapped to C2
Operator defines 4 BGP CAR end to end intents as below o CAR color C100 that resolves on C1 in access and C10 in core domain o CAR color C200 that resolves on C1 in access and C20 in core domain o CAR color C300 that resolves on C2 in access and C30 in core domain o CAR color C400 that resolves on C2 in access and C40 in core domain / New text - change lists to complete sentences
new text:/ With reference to the topology above, the following occurs o FA128 is mapped to C10, o FA129 is mapped to C20, o FA130 is mapped to C30, and o FA131 is mapped to C40.
- Access domain provides 2 intra-domain intents
o FA132 is mapped to C1, and
o FA133 is mapped to C2.
- Operator defines 4 BGP CAR end-to-end intents as below
o CAR color C100 that resolves on C1 in access and C10 in core
domain,
o CAR color C200 that resolves on C1 in access and C20 in core
domain,
o CAR color C300 that resolves on C2 in access and C30 in core
domain, and
o CAR color C400 that resolves on C2 in access and C40 in core
domain. /
08-status: Resolved, closed
Why: Punctuation and Spacing. Old text: / For example (E2,C100)with BGP color ECs C1, C10 resolves over C1 at ABR 231, C10 at ABR 121 and C1 at E1./ New text:/For example (E2,C100) with BGP color ECs C1, C10 resolves over C1 at ABR 231, C10 at ABR 121, and C1 at E1./
08-Status: Resolved, closed
Note: changed text is in bold. Old text:/ When the routes are distributed between domains with different color- to-intent mapping schemes, both N:N and N:M cases are possible, although an N:M mapping is more likely to occur. / New text:/ When the routes are distributed between domains with different color- to-intent mapping schemes, both N:N and N:M cases are possible. Although an N:M mapping is more likely to occur. /
-08-status: Resolved, closed
Note: Changes in the next text are in bold. Remove bold before inserting in the document. Old text:/
A BR in D2 receiving (E, C1) maps C1 in received LCM-EC to local color, say C2 [snip]
A colored service route V/v originated in color domain D1 with next hop E and color C1 will also have its color extended- community value re-mapped to C2, typically at a service RR
On an ingress PE in D2, V/v will resolve via C2 / New text:/
A BR in D2 receiving (E, C1) maps C1 in received LCM-EC to local color, say C2. [snip]
A colored service route V/v originated in color domain D1 with next hop E, and color C1 will also have its Color-EC value re-mapped to C2. This remapping will typically occur at a service RR.
On an ingress PE in D2, V/v will resolve via C2. /
08-status: Resolved, closed
Please make sure each bullet line has a period. You are missing several periods.
09-status: resolved, closed 08-Status: Partial (one minor NIT).
Please make sure each bullet line has a period. You are missing several periods.
08-text: / For example, 231 and 121 signal SRv6 SID of END behavior [RFC8986] allocated from their respective locators for the C1 intent. (Note, IGP Flex-Algo is shown for intra-domain path, but SR-Policy may also provide the path as shown in Appendix C.3). /
New text Choice-1: / For example, 231 and 121 signal SRv6 SID of END behavior [RFC8986] allocated from their respective locators for the C1 intent. Note, IGP Flex-Algo is shown for intra-domain path, but SR-Policy may also provide the path as shown in Appendix C.3. /
New text Choice-1: / For example, 231 and 121 signal SRv6 SID of END behavior [RFC8986] allocated from their respective locators for the C1 intent (Note: IGP Flex-Algo is shown for intra-domain path, but SR-Policy may also provide the path as shown in Appendix C.3.)** /
08-Status: Resolved, closed a) Title - should include the phrases "Non-Routed Service SID"
08-text: Resolved, Closed
Old text:/ IPv6 packet destination B:C21:2:B6:: lookup in mySID table on ABR 231 or 232 results in END.B6 behavior i.e. push of policy segments to E2. / New text:/ IPv6 packet destination B:C21:2:B6:: lookup in mySID table on ABR 231 or 232 results in END.B6 behavior (i.e. push of policy segments to E2)./
-09-txt status: Resolved, closed Please make sure each bullet line has a period. You are missing a few periods.
-08-status: Resolved, Closed
Old Text:/
Old text:/
Old text:/
-09-status: Resolved, closed after discussion with DJ 08-Status: Not resolved: 08-next-steps: Discuss Text with DJ (4/24) Why: Unclear text. Old Text:/
DJ# We did not change this because base Algo 0 (base spf) is not referred to as a 'Flex Algo'.
08-status: Resolved, closed
Missing figures: Figure in A.4 - Reference topology should be Figure 10. Packet forwarding diagram at the end of C.1 - would be better as a Figure 16 Packet forwarding diagram at the end of C2 - would be better as Figure 18
Figures:
A.4 - Reference topology should be Figure 10.
A.5 - Should be figure 11 (currently Figure 10).
A.7 - Should be figure 12 (currently Figure 11).
B.2 - Should be figure 13 (currently Figure 12).
B.3 - Should be figure 14 (not currently a figure)
C.1 - Should be Figure 15 (currently figure 13).
C1 - Packet forwarding at the end of C.1 Should be figure 16 (not currently a figure).
C2 - Should be Figure 17 (currently figure 14)
C2 - Packet forwarding at end of C2. Should be figure 18 (not currently a figure)
D - The Table in D should be Figure 19 or a listed as a Table.
Figures could be improved by showing direction of routes and direction of traffic flow.
08-Status: Resolved, closed
Old Text:
what to fix: If TE tunnels are RSVP-TE, please change the text to reflect that. If TE Tunnels can be a variety of TE technologies, specify the technologies.
09-status: Resolved, closed 08-Status: Not resolved, Partial change 08-next-steps: Discuss with DJ on 4/24
Unclear text: Is "N" - a next hop or a Prefix? (text in bold and italics to help you see it.) -08-text/
-07-Text in A.6: /
DR# N is the next-hop, so an address. We have updated the text to 'next hop'.
08-status: Resolved, closed
Old text: / Each BGP CAR color/ New text: / Each ETE BGP CAR color/
08-status: Resolved, closed
Old text:/ * The original intent in the BGP CAR route is preserved; i.e. route is (E, C1) / What to fix: Please explain how the original color is preserved. Is it preserved in the NLRI?
09-status: Resolved, closed. 08-status: Partial, not complete, 08-next-step: Discuss with DJ on 4/24. Change: Required change.
Please note that Appendix D is a theoretical analysis based on normal data. Please adjust your text to complete this information.
Required: 08-text: Analysis below shows comparison of total BGP data on the wire for CAR SAFI and [RFC8277] style encoding in MPLS label (CASE A), SR extension with MPLS (per-prefix label index in Prefix-SID attribute) [RFC8669] (CASE B) and SRv6 SID (CASE C) cases. / 08-text: The theoretical analysis below shows a comparison of total BGP data on the wire for CAR SAFI and [RFC8277] style encoding in MPLS label (CASE A), SR extension with MPLS (per-prefix label index in Prefix-SID attribute) [RFC8669] (CASE B) and SRv6 SID (CASE C) cases. /
-09-status: closed, resolved
08-text:/
Resolved: G4-1, G4-2, G4-3, G4-4,G-6 (partial) , G4-7, G4-8, G4-9, G4-10, G4-11, G4-12, G4-13, G4-15, G4-16, G4-17, G4-18 (Partial), G4-19, G4-20, G4-21, G4-22, G4-23, G4-24, G4-25, G4-26 (Partial), G4-27, G4-28, Not resolved Non-NITS: G4-4, G4-29 (Must change) Not Resolved NITS: G4-3, G4-5, G4-6 (Partial), G4-18 (Partial), G4-26 (Partial), G4-30
All issues resolved. Closing issue.
G4 Appendix Editorial Issues
G4-1: Appendix A.1, A.2, A.3.1, A.3.2, A.6,
status: Your choice, but Problem G4-1a: Please use complete English sentences. Problem G4-1b: Using a period at the end of each item in a list is ok. The RFC editor usually allows periods in a list.
Problem G4-1c: Introduce your list clearly. One example of an appropriate list introduction is the following:
-06 text: / With reference to the topology above:/ New text:/ With reference to the topology above, the following occurs:/
Problem G4-2: In A.6
Old Text: / With reference to the Figure 6/ New text: / With reference to /Figure 6, the following occurs:/
G-3. A.1 - Missing period.
Old text:/IGP FA 128 is running in each domain, and mapped to Color C1/ New text:/IGP FA 128 is running in each domain, and mapped to Color C1./
G4-4 in A.2
Why: Sentence Grammar (verb alignment and punctuation). Note: Changes indicated in bold in the new text. Old text/
G4-5: Missing article and space in A.2
Note: Changed text is bolded in the new text to aid the reader of problem report. Please remove bold before adding to text. Old Text:/
G4-6: Section A.4
What: replace ";" with ","** and edits for clear sentences. Note: I've put the changes in bold to make these easier to read. Please remove the bold before inserting in the text. -07 text:/
G4-7: Section A.5 - Sentence form needs commands + added text.
Old text:/
G4-8: Section A.5 - Sentence needs a period.
Each of the sentences below needs a period. Old text:
Resource R represents link(s) or node(s) to be avoided
Flex-Algo FA128 in Domain 2 is mapped to "minimize IGP metric" and hence to C1
Flex-Algo FA129 in Domain 2 is mapped to "minimize IGP metric and avoid resource R" and hence to C2
Flex-Algo FA128 in Domain 1 is mapped to "minimize IGP metric"
G4-9: Section A.5 - sentence needs command + added text.
Old text:/
E1 receives two service routes from E2:
E1 has the following color-aware paths:
E1 automatically steers the received service routes as follows:
E1 receives the following two service routes from E2:
E1 has the following color-aware paths:
(E2, C1) provided by BGP CAR with the following per-domain resolution:
o Domain1: over IGP FA128, and o Domain2: over IGP FA128.
E1 automatically steers the received service routes as follows:
G4-10 Section A.7 - Missing periods
07-text:/
G4-11: Section A.7 - use active tense in sentence
Old text:/ If D2 and D3 belonged to different color domains, the domains will coordinate the assignment of colors to be used with shared IP IP1 such that they do not cause conflicts. / New text:/ If D2 and D3 belong to different color domains, the domains will coordinate the assignment of colors with shared IP IP1 so that they do not cause conflicts. /
G4-12, Appendix B, first paragraph
Old text:/There are a variety of deployment scenarios that arise w.r.t different color mappings in an inter-domain environment/.
Why use w.r.t when the word "concerning" works?
G4-13, Appendix B.2, missing commands and spaces
Old text:/
With reference to the topology above:
Core domain provides 4 intra domain intents as described below: o FA128 mapped to C10 o FA129 mapped to C20 o FA130 mapped to C30 o FA131 mapped to C40
Access domain provides 2 intra domain intents o FA132 mapped to C1 o FA133 mapped to C2
Operator defines 4 BGP CAR end to end intents as below o CAR color C100 that resolves on C1 in access and C10 in core domain o CAR color C200 that resolves on C1 in access and C20 in core domain o CAR color C300 that resolves on C2 in access and C30 in core domain o CAR color C400 that resolves on C2 in access and C40 in core domain / New text - change lists to complete sentences
new text:/ With reference to the topology above, the following occurs o FA128 is mapped to C10, o FA129 is mapped to C20, o FA130 is mapped to C30, and o FA131 is mapped to C40.
G4-14: Appendix B.2
Why: Punctuation and Spacing.; Old text: / For example (E2,C100)with BGP color ECs C1, C10 resolves over C1 at ABR 231, C10 at ABR 121 and C1 at E1./ New text:/For example (E2,C100) with BGP color ECs C1, C10 resolves over C1 at ABR 231, C10 at ABR 121, and C1 at E1./
G4-15 Appendix B.3 - Two clauses give a side note (, clause, clause)
Note: changed text is in bold. Old text:/ When the routes are distributed between domains with different color- to-intent mapping schemes, both N:N and N:M cases are possible, although an N:M mapping is more likely to occur. / New text:/ When the routes are distributed between domains with different color- to-intent mapping schemes, both N:N and N:M cases are possible. Although an N:M mapping is more likely to occur. /
G4-16: Appendix B - missing periods at the end of a sentence Note: changes in next text in bold. Remove bold before inserting in document. Old text:/
A BR in D2 receiving (E, C1) maps C1 in received LCM-EC to local color, say C2 [snip]
A colored service route V/v originated in color domain D1 with next hop E and color C1 will also have its color extended- community value re-mapped to C2, typically at a service RR
On an ingress PE in D2, V/v will resolve via C2 / New text:/
A BR in D2 receiving (E, C1) maps C1 in received LCM-EC to local color, say C2. [snip]
A colored service route V/v originated in color domain D1 with next hop E, and color C1 will also have its Color-EC value re-mapped to C2. This remapping will typically occur at a service RR.
On an ingress PE in D2, V/v will resolve via C2. /
G4-17: Appendix C.1
Please make sure each bullet line has a period. You are missing several periods.
G4-18: Appendix C.2
Please make sure each bullet line has a period. You are missing several periods.
G4-19: Appendix C.3
a) Title - should include the phrases "Non-Routed Service SID"
G4-20: Appendix C.3
Old text:/ IPv6 packet destination B:C21:2:B6:: lookup in mySID table on ABR 231 or 232 results in END.B6 behavior i.e. push of policy segments to E2. / New text:/ IPv6 packet destination B:C21:2:B6:: lookup in mySID table on ABR 231 or 232 results in END.B6 behavior (i.e. push of policy segments to E2)./
G4-21:B Appendix C.3
Please make sure each bullet line has a period. You are missing a few periods.
G4-22: - Use COLOR-EC abbreviation for clarity A.2, A.3.1, A.3.2, B.2
G4-22a: A.2 Old Text:/
G4-22b - A.3.1 Old text:/
G4-22c - A.3.2
Old text:/
Color-EC C1 to steer traffic via BGP transport CAR (E2, C1). VPN route propagates via service RRs to ingress PE E1./
G4-23 - Flex Algo textual clarity - sections A.3.1
Why: Unclear text. Old Text:/
G4-24: Missing figure numbers in A.4 to A
Missing figures: Figure in A.4 - Reference topology should be Figure 10. Packet forwarding diagram at the end of C.1 - would be better as a Figure 16 Packet forwarding diagram at the end of C2 - would be better as Figure 18
Figures: A.4 - Reference topology should be Figure 10. A.5 - Should be figure 11 (currently Figure 10). A.7 - Should be figure 12 (currently Figure 11). B.2 - Should be figure 13 (currently Figure 12). B.3 - Should be figure 14 (not currently a figure) C.1 - Should be Figure 15 (currently figure 13). C1 - Packet forwarding at the end of C.1 Should be figure 16 (not currently a figure).
C2 - Should be Figure 17 (currently figure 14)
C2 - Packet forwarding at end of C2. Should be figure 18 (not currently a figure) D - The Table in D should be Figure 19 or a listed as a Table.
Figures could be improved by showing direction of routes and direction of traffic flow.
G4-26: Text Clarity in A.3.2
Old Text:
[snip]
what to fix: If TE tunnels are RSVP-TE, please change the text to reflect that. If TE Tunnels can be a variety of TE technologies, specify the technologies.
G4-27: in A.6 Clarity on "N" being prefix or Next Hop.
Unclear text: Is "N" - a next hop or a Prefix? (text in bold and italics to help you see it.) Text in A.6: /
G4-28: Text Clarity in B.2
Old text: / Each BGP CAR color/ New text: / Each ETE BGP CAR color/
G4-29: Text Clarity in B.3
Old text:/ * The original intent in the BGP CAR route is preserved; i.e. route is (E, C1) / What to fix: Please explain how the original color is preserved. Is it preserved in the NLRI?
G4-30: Appendix D is a theoretical Analysis
Change: Required change. Please note that Appendix D is a theoretical analysis based on normal data. Please adjust your text to complete this information.