G4-01 - Section B, paragraph 3 - Does text say what you want?
Old text:/
In Intra-AS and Inter-AS option A, option B scenarios, AFI/SAFI 1/76
may not be used, but the Transport Class and Resolution Scheme
mechanisms are used to provide service mapping./
Comment: I know this was put into address Keyur's comment. Does this say what you want?
G4-02: Section B.1.2 - paragraph 2
Question: In the past, you used "Transport Class ID". Do you want that style of capitlization form here?
G4-03: Section B.2.1, paragraph 1 - need "AS1 and AS2" plus "AS3 and AS4"
Old text:/
This example in Figure 14 shows two provider network Autonomous
systems AS1, AS2. They serve L3VPN customers AS3, AS4 respectively./
New text:/
This example in Figure 14 shows two provider network Autonomous
systems AS1 and AS2. They serve L3VPN customers AS3 and AS4, respectively./
G4-05, Section B.3.3, paragraphs 5 and 6 remove commas
Old text:/ The RD:203.0.113.41
route is readvertised in AFI/SAFI 1/128 by PE22 with next hop self
(192.0.2.22) and label V-L1, to RR23 with the Mapping Community
Color:0:100 attached./
New text:/The RD:203.0.113.41
route is readvertised in AFI/SAFI 1/128 by PE22 with next hop self
(192.0.2.22) and label V-L1 to RR23 with the Mapping Community
Color:0:100 attached. /
Old text:/
Next, ASBR21 readvertises the RD:203.0.113.41 route with next hop
self to ASBR12, with a newly allocated MPLS label, V-L2./
New text:/
Next, ASBR21 readvertises the RD:203.0.113.41 route with next hop
self to ASBR12 with a newly allocated MPLS label V-L2./
G4-06, Section B.3.3 paragraph 8 - replace comma with "and".
Old text:/
Traffic traverses as IP packet on the following legs: CE31-PE11,
PE21-CE41. And uses MPLS forwarding on ASBR11-ASBR21 link, and
inside AS1, AS2 core. /
New text:/
Traffic traverses as IP packet on the following legs: CE31-PE11 and
PE21-CE41. And uses MPLS forwarding on ASBR11-ASBR21 link, and
inside AS1 and AS2 core./
G4-07, Section C - paragraph 8, sentence 1 - break into 2 parts for emphasis
Old text:/
This is a more pragmatic approach, rather than abandoning time tested
design pattern like RFC 4364 and RFC 8277, just to invent something
completely new that is not backward compatible with existing
deployments. /
New text:/
This is a more pragmatic approach. Rather than abandoning time-tested
design pattern similar to RFC 4364 and RFC 8277, just to invent something
completely new that is not backward compatible with existing
deployments. /
G4- Appendix edits
G4-01 - Section B, paragraph 3 - Does text say what you want?
Old text:/ In Intra-AS and Inter-AS option A, option B scenarios, AFI/SAFI 1/76 may not be used, but the Transport Class and Resolution Scheme mechanisms are used to provide service mapping./
Comment: I know this was put into address Keyur's comment. Does this say what you want?
G4-02: Section B.1.2 - paragraph 2
Question: In the past, you used "Transport Class ID". Do you want that style of capitlization form here?
G4-03: Section B.2.1, paragraph 1 - need "AS1 and AS2" plus "AS3 and AS4"
Old text:/ This example in Figure 14 shows two provider network Autonomous systems AS1, AS2. They serve L3VPN customers AS3, AS4 respectively./ New text:/ This example in Figure 14 shows two provider network Autonomous systems AS1 and AS2. They serve L3VPN customers AS3 and AS4, respectively./
G4-05, Section B.3.3, paragraphs 5 and 6 remove commas
Old text:/ The RD:203.0.113.41 route is readvertised in AFI/SAFI 1/128 by PE22 with next hop self (192.0.2.22) and label V-L1, to RR23 with the Mapping Community Color:0:100 attached./
New text:/The RD:203.0.113.41 route is readvertised in AFI/SAFI 1/128 by PE22 with next hop self (192.0.2.22) and label V-L1 to RR23 with the Mapping Community Color:0:100 attached. /
Old text:/
Next, ASBR21 readvertises the RD:203.0.113.41 route with next hop self to ASBR12, with a newly allocated MPLS label, V-L2./ New text:/ Next, ASBR21 readvertises the RD:203.0.113.41 route with next hop self to ASBR12 with a newly allocated MPLS label V-L2./
G4-06, Section B.3.3 paragraph 8 - replace comma with "and".
Old text:/ Traffic traverses as IP packet on the following legs: CE31-PE11, PE21-CE41. And uses MPLS forwarding on ASBR11-ASBR21 link, and inside AS1, AS2 core. / New text:/ Traffic traverses as IP packet on the following legs: CE31-PE11 and PE21-CE41. And uses MPLS forwarding on ASBR11-ASBR21 link, and inside AS1 and AS2 core./
G4-07, Section C - paragraph 8, sentence 1 - break into 2 parts for emphasis
Old text:/ This is a more pragmatic approach, rather than abandoning time tested design pattern like RFC 4364 and RFC 8277, just to invent something completely new that is not backward compatible with existing deployments. /
New text:/ This is a more pragmatic approach. Rather than abandoning time-tested design pattern similar to RFC 4364 and RFC 8277, just to invent something completely new that is not backward compatible with existing deployments. /