Fixes for meshmode/grudge compatibility

[majosm]

Questions for the review:

• [ ] Is the scope and purpose of the PR clear?
  • [ ] The PR should have a description.
  • [ ] The PR should have a guide if needed (e.g., an ordering).
• [ ] Is every top-level method and class documented? Are things that should be documented actually so?
• [ ] Is the interface understandable? (I.e. can someone figure out what stuff does?) Is it well-defined?
• [ ] Does the implementation do what the docstring claims?
• [ ] Is everything that is implemented covered by tests?
• [ ] Do you see any immediate risks or performance disadvantages with the design? Example: what do interface normals attach to?

[MTCam]

Any chance we could mind-meld this with #1013 before merge just to reduce the amount of CI we need to wait on before making all the updates?