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Purpose
these edits were added in doc format before sending to Justin, adding to github for record
Directions for reviewers
Which areas should receive a particularly close look?
Is there anything that you want to discuss further?
have I unintentionally changed the message while editing the text?
Is the pull request ready for review?
Manuscript checklist
Unless otherwise noted above, this PR will be considered ready for review when all four items have been checked.