-Re-writing of the introduction. Needs to strike more of a scientific tone.
-What's this: “Engendered lives,” 1993.
-Remove quotes: Sexual objectification occurs with both “endless variety and monotonous similarity,” and is thus mediated by unique combinations of race, ethnicity, sexuality, age, and class (Fredrickson, Hendler, Nilsen, O’Barr, & Roberts, 2011; Rubin, 1975, cited in Fraser and Nicholson (1989), p. 28).
-Although I like the note about conbinations of identities.
-Introduction needs more structure. The first paragraph is way too long. It's doesn't look as long in R and I thik that might be hard to switch and get a feel for how short they need to be while writing in R. I made some edits
RandiLGarcia
commented
4 years ago
-Re-writing of the introduction. Needs to strike more of a scientific tone. -What's this: “Engendered lives,” 1993. -Remove quotes: Sexual objectification occurs with both “endless variety and monotonous similarity,” and is thus mediated by unique combinations of race, ethnicity, sexuality, age, and class (Fredrickson, Hendler, Nilsen, O’Barr, & Roberts, 2011; Rubin, 1975, cited in Fraser and Nicholson (1989), p. 28). -Although I like the note about conbinations of identities.
-Introduction needs more structure. The first paragraph is way too long. It's doesn't look as long in R and I thik that might be hard to switch and get a feel for how short they need to be while writing in R. I made some edits