Took all copy suggestions from the ticket, only made minor adjustments to fit the language to our style guide.
Updated "on-premises" to "local" or "self-managed" in several places. The once instance of "on-premises" left is on the install page, which I plan to address in another ticket.
Did not update or add text to the screenshots - I think that the suggested text just highlights what the diagram is already trying to present. The diagrams come from a technical illustrator and went through a separate review process, so I'm hesitant to edit them myself in any case.
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