Upgrade r3f, drei, 3.js, and associated packages

[alex-shortt]

Everything is pretty out of date and causing some issues ... this all needs to be done in one pass, so, yeah

benefits include

• new 3js features
• probably some bug fixes
• the huge vr fps fix in one of the recent 3.js versions
• no more annoying package pinning

[alex-shortt]

fixed