MyfanwyNixon
commented
5 years ago @wrightmartin Here are my amendments, thank you!
Throughout
- [x] Either all full stops or none after the descriptions that come below figures.
Our year in numbers:
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[x] Team members - this should be 27
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[x] Add Catriona to the 'temporary expertise' list
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[x] 'Times we pretended' perhaps should be under 'countless' to read better.
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[x] TICTeC - as we've lost the links, should we have a line below the Foxy speakers that says 'You can see all those resources for yourself right now' or similar? Otherwise mentioning the number of photos seems a bit pointless.
Transparency:
- [ ] Needs the little note adding to the top of the page, same style as the note we have for Community:
We believe all organisations with power over citizens’ lives should be open and subject to scrutiny. Recognising that this strand of our work goes deeper than just FOI, we’ve renamed it Transparency to better describe the positive outcomes we’re looking for.
- [x] Duplication of 'running'. Let's change the second 'running' to 'powering':
"Alaveteli is our software for running Freedom of Information websites. It’s currently powering websites that help people..."
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[x] New quote from Richard:
The WhatDoTheyKnow.com service helps tackle some of the scourges in our society including political spin and fake news. I volunteer because I want to see this hugely valuable service survive, and thrive.
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[x] We could chop the image from Phil Rodgers' tweet if it helps align them better.
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[ ] Missing quote:
A developer: It’s great knowing that some of the work I've done has helped to expose useful information to the public — and big news stories!
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[x] Three sections missing from the end of Transparency:
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Show me the impact
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What we made
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Who we met
Democracy:
- [x] This wording is a bit awkward: "Countries for which we’ve located and standardised data such as legislative structures and electoral borders, which we’ll share via the Democratic Commons to help everyone build tools for better democracy."
Change to:
Countries for which we’ve located and standardised data such as legislative structures and electoral borders. We’ll contribute it to the Democratic Commons, so everyone can build tools for better democracy.
- [x] "The number of UK viewers who tuned into the BBC's new thriller" repeats 'viewers' from the top line. Reword as
People tuned into the BBC's new thriller
- [x] 'The number of people interviewed' - trying to avoid using 'the number of' below all of these, so change to:
people Rebecca and Gemma interviewed
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[x] 'their chosen keyword has been mentioned' - we should add 'in Parliament'.
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[x] 'Countries - 12 - countries where we provided Facebook...' Drop the word 'countries' at the beginning of the description to avoid the repetition.
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[x] 'Page views' - drop 'page' as it's repeated below
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[x] Pieces of data on Every Politician - not 'messages'. Change to 'pieces of data' as the title and 'on Every Politician' below.
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[x] What's the research show - I changed the order of the first two points:
Based on interviews with 65 politicians, civil servants and activists involved in democratic engagement across Nigeria, Kenya, South Africa and Uganda, our biggest piece of research in 2018 was on the state of digital democracy in Sub-Saharan Africa and presents invaluable advice for anyone planning on building or funding new technology in the region.
We also published research into the use of Participatory Budgeting around the world.
Community
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[x] First stat is now: 15 FixMyStreet sites worldwide
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[x] There's another tweet to make it 4: https://twitter.com/JackVerey1/status/1065728718650392578
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[x] Cyclical changesFunding - needs a space
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[ ] Lost the Zurich quote?
A developer: Working with Zürich is always good, and what they asked us for this year was no exception.
The bottom line
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[ ] I'm wondering if this title is a bit harsh. Maybe change to 'You and us' or something fluffier
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[x] 'So here’s where you can find' is now 'So here’s where you can find for 2017-18'
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[x] Companies House (twice) should be capitalised
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[x] "fthe UKCOD wholly owned private limited company"
stray 'f' and probably clearer as "mySociety Ltd is the private limited company, wholly-owned by UKCOD, through which ..."
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[x] Added to funders (between Power to Change and Sefton Council):
Open Society Foundations whose grant for enhancing access to democracy for Londoners will allow us to make improvements to TheyWorkForYou — many of which will also be of benefit to those outside the capital, too.
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[x] There's a comment on the doc about how to include the tweet thread -
"What do WhatDoTheyKnow volunteers do? Here's a description of a typical day's work."
and a link to https://www.google.com/url?q=https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1054415493354999808.html
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[x] Next year on to - let's change to
Onwards to 2019:
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[x] 'we’ll be sharing our freshly-hatched three year plan in the new year.' - awkward repetition of 'year' - let's change to 'in January' (assuming that's true @markcridge )
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[x] We've lost the research plans:
Getting our teeth into lots of juicy research, including into African Legal Institute portals, factors that drive FixMyStreet reports, how FOI works in UK local government, what affects whether people know who their MP is, how people use proxies to use our sites... and more.
- [x] and MarkC's heartwarming quote:
At a time when the need for transparency and accountability has become ever more important in securing and sustaining our democracies, the work of mySociety has never been more needed and potent. However there is much for us to learn and much to improve and we’re looking forward to exploring these new challenges with our partners, supporters and citizens who use our services through 2019. Thank you for reading this far and for your continued support. Mark Cridge, Chief Executive, mySociety
abibroom
There's still plenty to add, but here are the bare bones of this year's copy for the Annual Report: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rJYskNsuSM33eyjs_qtSe7BDCfHfDW3ypqxzBW-4_NQ/edit# NB it will change/improve. I'll make all additions/changes on that document.
Points to note: