1st paragraph- Many students come home from school on Friday afternoon, and their first instinct.
Take out -- One of the most popular of these hobbies is playing video games.
you will be amazed at the number of students who are absorbed.
2nd paragraph- Most importantly with the Internet we are more educated about each game.
3rd paragraph- (Fix phrase) While Twitch is one of the biggest websites for gamers, another social-interactive hub is YouTube.
Remove "One of the most popular sites is YouTube.
"Some gamers would rather see how a game's story plays out rather than accept a difficult challenge."
Other ways
Fix TLDR
1st paragraph- Many students come home from school on Friday afternoon, and their first instinct. Take out -- One of the most popular of these hobbies is playing video games. you will be amazed at the number of students who are absorbed.
2nd paragraph- Most importantly with the Internet we are more educated about each game.
3rd paragraph- (Fix phrase) While Twitch is one of the biggest websites for gamers, another social-interactive hub is YouTube. Remove "One of the most popular sites is YouTube. "Some gamers would rather see how a game's story plays out rather than accept a difficult challenge." Other ways