AmyJuneH
commented
1 year ago After review this is the feedback that wasn't entered into the Google doc.
We've made some changes in the doc and suggested more.
Here are some concerns that didn't make it into the doc.
- The article uses a theoretical "leader" and "community member" throughout, but the way they're each reference constantly changes. Sometimes it's "he", then "they", then "the leader" or "the person", and other times "members".
We need consistency here. Options: Give them each a name (Alice and Bob are common in technical writing, and has the advantage of making pronouns easy: she and he, her and his, and you always know which one is which.) Make the leader "you" ("As a leader, you must encourage your community blah blah blah..."). Strive to refer to a single community member (it just makes sentences easier to read and write when you don't have to pluralize as much.) Speak about "the leader" and "the community member" consistently, without pronouns (they tend to make for confusing sentences, because we don't know who "he" is or who "they" is or are.) This is my least favourite option, because it's impersonal.
- We're concerned that the examples in Community Pattern #1 is out of scope for Opensource.com. I don't question the value of lifting someone out of a violent gang, drug use, and a seemingly hopeless life, but it's by no means the specialty or focus of our sites. And we also don't want to simplify something as serious as that. It's easy to say a good leader should redirect hopelessness, but with no experience in social work,we can't be sure whether this article is realistic in how it approaches the subject
Seth is happy to do another review or edit, as needed, after the author updates based on that feedback.
RonMcFarland
semioticrobotic
This book defines "tribe" as just a group of 20-150 acquaintances. Its goal is to give leaders tools to get members out of bad groups and into more productive ones. It is all about Inclusivity which lead communities that better address global issues.