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Book must be proofread #25

Closed semioticrobotic closed 6 years ago

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

The open organization community has finished a complete manuscript of the Open Organization Workbook, and the project is now entering formal proofreading.

We welcome—and encourage!—participation from everyone. As @jhibbets put it last time we did this: "With more eyes, all typos are shallow."

We'll need to complete the proofing process by December 6, 2017.

Want to help? Read the instructions and pointers below.

Proofreading checklist

We'll need lots of help polishing this work. Proofreaders can assist with any or all of the following tasks:

Participation instructions

  1. Review the book's working table of contents.

  2. Locate an article that hasn't been proofed. You'll know it hasn't been proofread if it doesn't have someone's initials or username attached to it.

  3. Click the "Edit" icon (it's a pencil) in the upper right corner of the table of contents document.

  4. Append your initials or username to the chapter(s) you'd like to help proofread. Alternatively, list your preferences in the comments and @semioticrobotic will assign pieces to you.

  5. Download the most recent copy of the book's galley proofs.

  6. Read your selected chapter closely and note the mistakes you discover or changes you'd suggest.

  7. List those mistakes and your proposed changes in a comment on this issue.

  8. Receive the community's undying gratitude.

amusernc commented 6 years ago

AUTHOR | PG | PARAGRAPH/LINE | SUGGESTED EDIT Whitehurst | 15 | 2/1 | "Senior people" > "Senior leadership teams" Whitehurst | 15 | 2/2 | Footnote 5 link doesn't work - if that doesn't explain who our repondents are, we need to include it here Whitehurst | 16 | 2/6 | insert "on" between "not" and "writing" Whitehurst | 17 | 1/1 | "...in The Open Organization Workbook, a more prescriptive guide to igniting culture change." Whitehurst | 17 | 2/3 | "...to achieve small, meaningful wins first, as you build..."

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Thanks, @amusernc!

jhibbets commented 6 years ago

Unit 1 proofs:

amusernc commented 6 years ago

@jhibbets @semioticrobotic re: page 42, yes on the hyphenation

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Can @pdurbin please give us a hand completing his chapter's fact box?

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Reached out to @DreamingInBinary and @guyma for assistance with completing their chapter fact boxes and bio statements.

amusernc commented 6 years ago

@jhibbets @semioticrobotic also yes to your question on page 65

pdurbin commented 6 years ago

Can @pdurbin please give us a hand completing his chapter's fact box?

@semioticrobotic when do you need it by?

jhibbets commented 6 years ago

Unit 2 proofs:

@semioticrobotic happy thanksgiving!

[1] "As of August 31, 2017 Red Hat had approximately 11,000 employees worldwide." -- https://investors.redhat.com/ir-resources/investor-faqs

jhibbets commented 6 years ago

Unit 3 proofs:

@semioticrobotic that's if for me until next week.

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Early next week would be best, @pdurbin. Thanks for your help (hopefully it is not a hassle for you during a holiday week).

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Thanks, @jhibbets. Happy Thanksgiving!

HeidiHVL commented 6 years ago

Hi @semioticrobotic

Mark Krake's case study in Collaboration.

P193 “initially with Compiere and later with ADempiere and metasfresh.” This is confusing. The company is named metasfresh so how did they build software with it? Does Mark mean “initially as” these companies?

“When we at metasfresh…” I’d probably just say, “When we” or “When our small company”

P195 Period needed at the end of “Soft skills (e.g., self-responsibility, quality consciousness, solution orientation and more)”

P196 “We provide a secure environment that allows such developments—and also possibilities for communicating about the outcomes, so all can learn from them. “ I’m not sure everyone knows how to create a secure environment for innovation. Can you give an example or two on how a secure environment is achieved? Eg. By actively listening to participants even if their ideas are not used, or by brainstorming online/asynchronously so that ideas are anonymous, or whatever?

“So we incorporate all opportunities to improve the own competences in our daily work. “ There are several typos maybe change to … “We incorporate opportunities to improve our competencies in our daily work.”

P198 Conclusion “These basics accompany and guide us to this day, even as we are in a process of constant change and improvement.” I might make this a bit stronger by saying “The basic frameworks of a personnel management process based on leadership and participation, and a defined company culture guide us to this day, even as we are in a process of constant change and improvement.”

pdurbin commented 6 years ago

page 66, 1 p after Results header: "most recent community meeting" is dating the book, consider: during a retrospective at a past community meeting

I see someone adjusted this a bit and it looks fine. I'm looking as of this revision: "Working galley proofs produced: November 27, 2017 at 08:28:52". I sort of wonder where the source for to book is because it doesn't seem to be in this git repo.

Can @pdurbin please give us a hand completing his chapter's fact box?

By "fact box" I assume you mean where "employees" and "industry" are blank.

Industry is easy. You can call it "higher education" or similar.

Number of employees is a bit tricky... I'm looking at our org chart at https://www.iq.harvard.edu/files/iqss-harvard/files/org_chart_8.1.17.pdf and some people work on Dataverse on the side. Please put down "12" for the number of employees.

I hope that's all you need from me but if there's something else, please let me know.

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Thanks, @HeidiHVL! Much appreciated. I will reach out to Mark and see if I can incorporate his responses to some of your questions seeking clarification.

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Got it, @pdurbin! Appreciate your assistance with that. The source for the book is the ODT file I use to manage the manuscript; we'll be releasing it in the repo (along with the "binary" copies of the book) upon launch!

jhibbets commented 6 years ago

Unit 4 proofs

One more to go @semioticrobotic

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Thanks, @jhibbets! incorporating the last of these right now.

Before you read Unit 5, could I ask you to please pull a fresh copy of the galleys? Due to additions and edits, page numbers have shifted and deprecated the numbers with which you're working here (so your helpful page references are always a few pages off the current galleys).

jhibbets commented 6 years ago

I printed a new copy for Unit 5 last night before I left the office :)

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Always one step ahead. Thanks.

jhibbets commented 6 years ago

Unit 5 proofs:

"As you go through this unit and read the case studies and exercise, think about the communities you're part of both professionally and personally. Think about their level of openness and what changes you might incorporate."

More to come in a bit after getting the kids to bed. tag @semioticrobotic

jhibbets commented 6 years ago

more proofs from Unit 5

@semioticrobotic done!

jhibbets commented 6 years ago

@semioticrobotic

One more fix I saw

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Got 'em. Thanks a million, @jhibbets.

amusernc commented 6 years ago

Knuth/Kelchner chapter

PG PARAGRAPH/LINE SUGGESTED EDIT
20 1/1 Who is the "we" mentioned here? Everyone? Management types? Technical types? Red Hatters? Sam and Jen?
20 1/5 "the organization" > "an organization"
20 2/2 "Definition" should be lower case (including in the Appendix)
20 3/2 Add comma following "collaborative"
21 4/1 "In the following pages, we illustrate some common challenges you may encounter when leading (and facing) change in an organization.This should establish context for the example cases you're about to read."
21 4/6 "self awareness" > "self-awareness"
22 3/1 "not sharing" > "Not sharing"
22 4/1 "posting" > "Posting"
22 5/1 "Rapid fire" > Making rapid-fire"
22 6/5 "planned..." > "planned."
23 5/2 "self reflection" > "self-reflection"
23 4/4 "self awareness" > "self-awareness"
24 3/1 add "upon" after "reflecting"
24 3/1 "fears or pain points" or "fears (pain points)" or something similar - otherwise they are separated later in sort of a strange way
24 3/7 don't italicize "fear" - it's already been mentioned - can easily use that as the only word (without "pain points")
24 4/2 move first quotes from before "all" to before "sordid"
25 1/1 "etc" > "etc."
25 2/1 "The Power of Vulnerability" - should have quotation marks around it to denote a book title
25 7/3 Who do we intend as the "your people" here?
26 1/2 "Remember this is a stretch, and it may have been a while since you exercised the ability to reframe your thinking."
26 2/5 Remove "(in one way or another). Address..." and replace with "that we are correct. Take the time to address each of these..."
26 3/6-10 The meaining of the last two sentences isn't clear. Perhaps Jen's section can start out with describing the difference rather than waiting until a few paragraphs later?
27 4/3 remove comma between "potential" and "positive"
27 5/3 add comma after "intelligent"
28 7/4 close quotation after "right thing to do?"
29 2/7 remove em dash and reword to "...rather than to live..."
29 first line after bullets "others" should be possessive
30 1/1-2 remove "to each person"
30 1/4 "you fear" should be "your fear"
30 4/4 "that" should be "who"
31 1/1 "frontline" should be hyphenated
31 1/4 "front line" should be hyphenated
31 4/1 make the colon a period
31 4/2 add "and" before "taking"
31 4/4 make " over many iterations" a complete sentence. start the next sentence with "The implementation..."
31 5/5 remove quotation marks around "worth it."
32 1/5 remove comma after "remember" and add "that"
31 3/7 don't think we need "(as I explained before)"
31 3/8 "and" shouldn't be italicized
32 4/2 "...two forces: the power to both drive change and to sustain it."
32 4/7 "..or even unknowingly letting this talent go."
32 5/2 "pause" and "pounce" should be lower case
amusernc commented 6 years ago

two general notes:

  1. "e.g.," and "i.e.," < this is the correct way to present these, and they are always within the sentence/object referenced - also, there is often misunderstanding re: when to use which so let me know if I can help
  2. we should be consistent with the use of the Oxford/serial comma (i.e., the comma before the last "and" in a list) - looks like most recommendations are to use it (which is correct in these cases), but it would be great if we're consistent across the board
jhibbets commented 6 years ago

@amusernc I tried to catch as many missing serial comma's on my pass of the Workbook.

amusernc commented 6 years ago

@jhibbets if you're going through this entire workbook, my hat's off to you, sir!

amusernc commented 6 years ago

Percoco chapter

PG PARAGRAPH/LINE SUGGESTED EDIT
88 3/9 "to add to" instead of "to join"
89 2/2 remove "people" from the 2nd and 3rd items in the list: "...people from different cultures, different parts of the world, from different backgronds..."
89 3/4 remove comma from inside the parentheses
89 4/5 "can help you to discover" rather than "can realize"
90 1/3 "a organization" should be "an organization"
90 1/4 "adapt to the community"
90 1/5 "...is difficult for its members..."
90 2/6 remove closed parenthesis after "live by."
90 2/7 "...an environment in which different people can feel comfortable. That, of course, comes with some trade-offs."
90 2/10 "...adapt to its members' needs..."
90 3/4 remove second "uncomfortable"
91 1/1 "that" should be "who"
91 3/2 add comma after "computing"
91 3/3 add comma after "Red Hat"
amusernc commented 6 years ago

All three of my selected chapters are done. If there are more chapters remaining on Monday and you need help, feel free to ping me as I may have time to do another one or two. Good luck - and good work!

jenkelchner commented 6 years ago

Reply to suggested edits by @amusernc (thanks for the review btw!!)

Pg 20 1/1: the "we" is business people in general Pg 24 3/1 & 3/7: I'm okay with making an edit of some sort, however, fears and pain points are two different things with different perceptions and triggers. Pg 25 7/5: "your people" refers to whomever the leader/reader is leading/managing Pg 26 2/5: prefer it stays as is Pg 26 3/6-10: happy to think about this some more Pg 32 5/2: Pause and Pounce need to stay capitalized and should have the TM added for our trademark as well. @semioticrobotic this would also be necessary for MaryJo's adaptability exercise.

amusernc commented 6 years ago

Reply to @jenkelchner

pg 20: could you make that a little bit clearer - right now it's just a generic "we" with no point of reference pg 24, 3/1 and 3/7: agree with your point re: fears and pain points - maybe differentiate them a little more in the paragraph? pg 32: cool - if those need to be capitalized here, there are some instances earlier in the section where they should also be capitalized but aren't

Thanks for the quick feedback!

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Thanks, @amusernc! Amazing work and great catches. Yes, I may assign you one or two more pieces, if you don't mind. More soon.

And @jenkelchner: Weill need to touch base with you on pause and pounce.

amusernc commented 6 years ago

@semioticrobotic Happy to do what I can.

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Would @amusernc have time to review both introductions from @HeidiHVL some time before December 7?

amusernc commented 6 years ago

@semioticrobotic Barring any unforeseen circumstances, I should be able to review both of those. If something comes up I'll let you know ASAP, but otherwise expect them on time!

amusernc commented 6 years ago

@semioticrobotic Dec 2 galleys seem to be messed up. - When I scroll:

Can you please check to see whether this is indeed the case or I'm having strange scrolling issues? Thanks!

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Huh. Very strange, @amusernc. In my copy, all those pages are there and intact! Are you downloading the file or trying to load the entire thing straight from GitHub? I've found that doing the latter can occasionally cause issues.

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Reminder to @mburke5678 that tomorrow is the final day to submit suggested copy edits.

amusernc commented 6 years ago

@semioticrobotic That was the problem. I figured since I didn't have that many pages to proof I'd skip the download. My bad! And thanks!

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

No worries, @amusernc! May all your problems be as easily solved. Thanks so much for your great work.

mburke5678 commented 6 years ago

Introduction: Transparency Pg 42 s/transparency is the product of sharing of something/transparency is the product of sharing something

How working transparently united our engineers Pg 44: In case study box, Employees field empty. Pg. 47. From talking around the company, it was clear... sounds awkward. Could remove the opening clause and start with It was clear ?? Pg. 50 s/Where not doing/We're not doing ?? Where are we not doing ?? Pg. 51 second paragraph uses The magic, then twice seems redundant. Actually, the first two sentences seem redundant, too. (Maybe I am missing a subtle difference in the two ideas?)

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Thanks, @mburke5678! Can you help me understand what your comments market "s/" indicate?

amusernc commented 6 years ago

Hess von Ludewig Collaboration chapter

PG PARAGRAPH/LINE SUGGESTED EDIT
186 2/2 change "cognate" to "associated" or "related"
186 2/3 "Though all these terms refer to some sort of "working together," there are subtle..."
187 2/5 "...traditional businesses, like those with command-and-control hierarchies, manage..."
187 4/6 "we" has not context - perhaps use "the entities" or something similar, as used earlier in the paragraph
188 2/7 "more contentious" should not be italiziced
188 2/10 "discourse" implies more than one-way communication, so I might suggest another word if we want to keep "one-way feedback" in the sentence - this is further emphasized by the first paragraph in "Why is collaboraton important" section on page 189
188 5/4 the "He coordinates" sentence seems redundant after the first one - may want to combine the two somehow if you're shooting for a summary type of idea with the second sentence
189 1/1 remove "on GitHub"
189 6/3 add comma after "e.g."
190 3/4 "knowledge sharing" should be hyphenated
190 3/5 add semi-colon after "communities"
190 3/6 add semi-colon after "Google Drive"
190 3/7 add comma after "YouTube"
191 3rd bullet "decision making" should be hyphenated
191 1st after bullets/9 semi-colon should go inside the quotation marks
191 last/2 I would remind readers of the other four values here rather than at the end of the paragraph
192 2/7 "...the focus is on members performing their activities while working out their differences..."
192 2/8 need to clean up the rest of this ^^^ sentence - it's very awkward
192 2/12 "make" > "makes"
192 3/1 change "remind us of" to "reinforces" or something similar
193 1/8 remove the last "s" from "Likins's"
193 2/4 change comma after "together" to a semi-colon and make "It's" lower case
193 2/4 Colon at end of line should be a period
193 2/6 add comma after close of parentheses
amusernc commented 6 years ago

@semioticrobotic I won't have time to do the other chapter by tomorrow. If Thursday will work, I can manage it, but I know you have deadlines. I hope someone else has the bandwidth to take it on.

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

No problem at all, @amusernc. I really appreciate your work on this. Thank you so much!

Update: Through the magic of Find/Replace, I also scanned the entire book and ensured all instance of "i.e." and "e.g." were properly punctuated with commas.

HeidiHVL commented 6 years ago

@amusernc thanks for your help with the intro @semioticrobotic have you made the updates or would you like me to?

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

I took care of 'em, @HeidiHVL. Thanks!

semioticrobotic commented 6 years ago

Thanks for your help, everyone!