sansan88
commented
3 years ago Text teilweise nochmals anpassen, aber sonst gut
Closed sansan88 closed 3 years ago
sansan88
commented
3 years ago Text teilweise nochmals anpassen, aber sonst gut
owlly
Feedback on pitch (key message, images, ...) Pitch – Nikki: o 5 min 40 sec presentation o Too much text on slides o Too much context (history, “what we have today”,...) o What does “famous” mean? –
– Laura: o It takes 2 minutes until you drop for the first time the name of your tool. This takes too long. .. add your feedback here o I don’t think most people will understand the BPMN ;-) o I like that you included a Call to Action! Keep that part (alternating the Call to Action to the audience) for the Demo Day o The presentation slides could be designed a bit more modern - I am referring in particular to the slide with the three pillar, where on the right corner you have three boxes with “external” – Vera o I don’t get the pitch: the why is missing and there is too much history (and it is not clear why you need to talk about history). o Too much text on the visualization where you show the target groups. This is conceptual work not to be used in a presentation but a funding proposal o Don’t move during the presentation. o more than 5’ pitch! o What will be the call2action on the Demo Day? Vision – .. add your feedback here Idee der Webseite – Vera o 2 men and one women when you show the three groups who can act: change. same goes for adding the envelope visualization (I have remarked this before). And you show a male with a smartphone. I think that the male tech-savy crowd will use your tool anyway, even if they do not highly identify. o Also, you do Schleichwerbung with the Nike shirt :9->Smartphone-1 picture o nice colors and good visual overview. o what is swiss made software? I don't know the logo and there is no hyperlink (and yes, I could google of course :) o claim, dass e-collecting die Demokratie repräsentativer macht, finde ich überzeugen. Ich weiss, dass es auch Marketing ist, aber ich wäre vorsichtiger damit. Noch viel problematischer scheint mir die Behauptung “Systematisch ausgeschlossene erhalten einen Zugang und die Demokratie wird dadurch gestärkt.” Seid spezifisch, wer hier profitieren würde, wenn ihr die Aussage wirklich beihalten wolltt. o Das Foto vom Paradeplatz erscheint mir nicht so passend. Was sollte hier die Aussage sein? Vielleicht eher frauen und Männer beim Unterschriften sammeln? – .. add your feedback here Laura: Did I miss the presentation of the tool? Or was that not part of todays demo?
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– Sophie: looks nice and inviting, very nice visual design. I second Veras points on gender representation/stereotypes. There’s man hands on the main header and then again a men on all headers linked in the top navigation/ most accessible pages. Nice introduction into e-collecting, but a mention that you work on an e collecting tool would help setting the tone – Isa: o am I seeing this correctly: the only call to action “start a campaign” is not yet active? not here is NO CTA at the moment. o while this site is still mainly informative, maybe there is other things to do for engagement, while we are still waiting for cantons to actually make it available Ambassadoren – .. add your feedback here