"hey, we're hiring. the job is this: doing what you've always done. we'd prefer it best if you were experienced in exactly the thing we're doing; and ultimately enjoy doing the exact same thing with us, even though you should certainly be doing it somewhere else right now. it would be great if your reason for leaving is the love you have found in your heart for us is so strong it is debilitating to do anything but do everything in your power to work with us. it's good if you are interested in learning on the job; but obviously you best know everything we use presently. it's okay if you have other knowledge (but not preferable), but don't let it get in the way of doing your main task. here's a set of things we wish we did, and we'll require you to know, but we probably won't actually do them. if you'd like to do them, do let us know, but don't be over-eager, because we'll probably be very suspicious. again, don't forget you have an actual job to do as well. if you're lucky, we'll allow you to improve yourself while also, of course, serving our ultimate interests. do you have a self-improvement plan? i mean a corporate self, obviously. please bring your true (money-seeking, naturally) self to work each day."
"hey, we're hiring. the job is this: doing what you've always done. we'd prefer it best if you were experienced in exactly the thing we're doing; and ultimately enjoy doing the exact same thing with us, even though you should certainly be doing it somewhere else right now. it would be great if your reason for leaving is the love you have found in your heart for us is so strong it is debilitating to do anything but do everything in your power to work with us. it's good if you are interested in learning on the job; but obviously you best know everything we use presently. it's okay if you have other knowledge (but not preferable), but don't let it get in the way of doing your main task. here's a set of things we wish we did, and we'll require you to know, but we probably won't actually do them. if you'd like to do them, do let us know, but don't be over-eager, because we'll probably be very suspicious. again, don't forget you have an actual job to do as well. if you're lucky, we'll allow you to improve yourself while also, of course, serving our ultimate interests. do you have a self-improvement plan? i mean a corporate self, obviously. please bring your true (money-seeking, naturally) self to work each day."