The current ending of chapter 2 is too stable. Though they may take being attacked so nonchalantly, given their respective backgrounds, Delphine and Leanne's current reactions are boring, and do not help move the story forward.
Instead, Delphine should be pissed—and for a reason one would not expect.
In this case, she is furious that she killed the attacker. She wanted to question him. Her anger will be noticed by Leanne, who will point out that the attacker will not know who hired them—and that even the arranger might not know. Delphine can then explain she wasn't looking for that. She's looking for other information. And that she hired the assassins herself, because she wanted to hunt them all down and see who was on Four three years ago.
Then, maybe she'd even turn on Leanne.
There are some issues with this, though, that I need to work through before writing:
[x] Delphine killed the person with her knife. She probably didn't have to. I could change how this works from the current draft:
Delphine can, while she puts her knife away, say "Maybe later"
The knife can have some subduing property that goes wrong?
Better yet, Leanne kills him just after Delphine stabs him, and Delphine gets enraged
[x] It is pretty irresponsible to hire assassins to attack yourself. Delphine is competent, but this stretches believability.
If Delphine is a bit unhinged, that could help
If there is a "method" to the assassination job, that could help, given that assassinations can be cancelled with their cards.
[x] Method doesn't have to be a surprise. Can say she has to "see it coming"
[x] Mention this earlier during discussion of cards
[x] Don't have the assassin that attacked Delphine & Leanne have actually been hired by Delphine
So, the takeaways:
[x] Mention assassination cancelibility:
[ ] Chapter 1 (Optional)
[ ] Chapter 2 Opening
[x] Have Delphine say "maybe later" about the knife as she puts it away
[x] Have Leanne kill the assassin right after Leanne stabs him
[x] Have Delphine react in fury, and turn the knife on Leanne
[ ] Leanne disarms Delphine, holds her at knifepoint. End chapter 2 here?
[x] Delphine should realize neither Leanne nor Elsar was hired by her.
The current ending of chapter 2 is too stable. Though they may take being attacked so nonchalantly, given their respective backgrounds, Delphine and Leanne's current reactions are boring, and do not help move the story forward.
Instead, Delphine should be pissed—and for a reason one would not expect.
In this case, she is furious that she killed the attacker. She wanted to question him. Her anger will be noticed by Leanne, who will point out that the attacker will not know who hired them—and that even the arranger might not know. Delphine can then explain she wasn't looking for that. She's looking for other information. And that she hired the assassins herself, because she wanted to hunt them all down and see who was on Four three years ago.
Then, maybe she'd even turn on Leanne.
There are some issues with this, though, that I need to work through before writing:
So, the takeaways: