bby-bishopclark
commented
3 years ago - 12: comma splice
- 16: oxford comma for clarity
- 24: bad subclause
- 30: comma splice
- 34: comma splice
- 46: removed oxford comma to join objects
- 48: add linking word to balance clauses
- 53: capitalize initialism
- 66: oxford comma to delineate
- 68: comma after introductory adverb - maybe ditch the intro
- 71: comma for flow
- 80: who's/whose
- 85: spelling
- 87: colon for sentence intro