MENGA OATS

[johnbent]

Just realized this is missing. Am I spelling it correctly? And can someone please confirm that it means specifically American as opposed to CHAD ER A NGEBARD which more generally means Westerner?

[s-o-u-a-n-g]

A derogatory term that should NEVER be said out loud. It's personally very hurtful to me so even though others may want to learn more specifics, I won't be contributing to the clarification on this offensive term.

[johnbent]

Yikes! I had no idea. Sorry @s-o-u-a-n-g . I do think it is important to record all the words but I will certainly add to the definition that it is a highly offensive term.

[Gnalu]

Sorry Souang...it depends on the receiver and the one saying it. Palauan has two ways of saying something exactly the same but can totally mean two different meanings each time with one offensive and jokingly, less offensive.

[JimGeselbracht]

I have certainly been referred to this way, and have never taken offense.  I always thought it was kind of funny.   On Thursday, March 10, 2022, 09:24:36 AM PST, Gnalu @.***> wrote:

Sorry Souang...it depends on the receiver and the one saying it. Palauan has two ways of saying something exactly the same but can totally mean two different meanings each time with one offensive and jokingly, less offensive.

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[Gnalu]

Just realized this is missing. Am I spelling it correctly? And can someone please confirm that it means specifically American as opposed to CHAD ER A NGEBARD which more generally means Westerner?

Westerner but typically Americans. :-)

[smith-371]

what is OATS here?

[johnbent]

The English word oats. I think American soldiers must have introduced oatmeal during WW2 or something.

[s-o-u-a-n-g]

@JimGeselbracht Just because you didn't take offense doesn't make it ok. You are familiar with other insensitive terms like Esk*mo or the N word. Just because one person or a whole group is okay using it or aren't offended doesn't mean it should be used. I know this might be completely obvious to someone reading the above replies but I wanted to say it so that it is said.

Just because it's been done in the past doesn't make it right today.

[s-o-u-a-n-g]

Sorry Souang...it depends on the receiver and the one saying it. Palauan has two ways of saying something exactly the same but can totally mean two different meanings each time with one offensive and jokingly, less offensive.

@Gnalu people often use jokes to mask prejudices. There has never been a time I have heard this term used in a way short of menacing. Palauans are notoriously classist and racist. Look at the way we treat guests in our country. It could be a symptom of internalized racism and our post colonial and imperial trauma.

When I say something is hurtful, defending the perpetrator as possibly "joking" is not cool. Something "less offensive" is STILL offensive. Of course I can choose to not be offended. But when a verbal rock is hurled at your head, it's hurtful.

You don't need to defend haters. I'm saying this from a place of passion and I still forgive you.

I have been called things worse than that, "half cast" being on the milder side and been told to "go back to your country" by my own Palauan relatives when I was a child even though Melekeok was the only home I had ever known.

Please condemn any behavior that hurts our own people.

We are also a very generous and cooperative society. I hope we can all be more compassionate and support each other when we share our indigenous knowledge.

Anyway, thanks for your input and acknowledging the unacceptability of this term.

[Gnalu]

I gots you girl. We want the meaning of it on record; yes it is offensive to Belauan bred person but not offensive to an American, totally get you. Much love and do forgive haters sometimes it is easier to deflect and hurt people first before they get hurt. If your grandpa was still here, he would say you’re the ‘teliluich’ of the family, you open close minded family members; my dad would totally say you’re light that repels shadows.

On Thu, Mar 10, 2022 at 6:35 PM s-o-u-a-n-g @.***> wrote:

Sorry Souang...it depends on the receiver and the one saying it. Palauan has two ways of saying something exactly the same but can totally mean two different meanings each time with one offensive and jokingly, less offensive.

@Gnalu https://github.com/Gnalu people often use jokes to mask prejudices. There has never been a time I have heard this term used in a way short of menacing. Palauans are notoriously classist and racist. Look at the way we treat guests in our country. It could be a symptom of internalized racism and our post colonial and imperial trauma.

When I say something is hurtful, defending the perpetrator as possibly "joking" is not cool. Something "less offensive" is STILL offensive. Of course I can choose to not be offended. But when a verbal rock is hurled at your head, it's hurtful.

You don't need to defend haters. I'm saying this from a place of passion and I still forgive you.

I have been called things worse than that, "half cast" being on the milder side and been told to "go back to your country" by my own Palauan relatives when I was a child even though Melekeok was the only home I had ever known.

Please condemn any behavior that hurts our own people.

We are also a very generous and cooperative society. I hope we can all be more compassionate and support each other when we share our indigenous knowledge.

Anyway, thanks for your input and acknowledging the unacceptability of this term.

— Reply to this email directly, view it on GitHub https://github.com/tekinged/missing/issues/4#issuecomment-1064684274, or unsubscribe https://github.com/notifications/unsubscribe-auth/AF2DJJBMUOKLI43MTXWA4EDU7KPNPANCNFSM5QNBLPUA . Triage notifications on the go with GitHub Mobile for iOS https://apps.apple.com/app/apple-store/id1477376905?ct=notification-email&mt=8&pt=524675 or Android https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.github.android&referrer=utm_campaign%3Dnotification-email%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_source%3Dgithub.

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[s-o-u-a-n-g]

I gots you girl. We want the meaning of it on record; yes it is offensive to Belauan bred person but not offensive to an American, totally get you. Much love and do forgive haters sometimes it is easier to deflect and hurt people first before they get hurt. If your grandpa was still here, he would say you’re the ‘teliluich’ of the family, you open close minded family members; my dad would totally say you’re light that repels shadows.

On Thu, Mar 10, 2022 at 6:35 PM s-o-u-a-n-g @.***> wrote:

Sorry Souang...it depends on the receiver and the one saying it. Palauan has two ways of saying something exactly the same but can totally mean two different meanings each time with one offensive and jokingly, less offensive.

@Gnalu https://github.com/Gnalu people often use jokes to mask prejudices. There has never been a time I have heard this term used in a way short of menacing. Palauans are notoriously classist and racist. Look at the way we treat guests in our country. It could be a symptom of internalized racism and our post colonial and imperial trauma.

When I say something is hurtful, defending the perpetrator as possibly "joking" is not cool. Something "less offensive" is STILL offensive. Of course I can choose to not be offended. But when a verbal rock is hurled at your head, it's hurtful.

You don't need to defend haters. I'm saying this from a place of passion and I still forgive you.

I have been called things worse than that, "half cast" being on the milder side and been told to "go back to your country" by my own Palauan relatives when I was a child even though Melekeok was the only home I had ever known.

Please condemn any behavior that hurts our own people.

We are also a very generous and cooperative society. I hope we can all be more compassionate and support each other when we share our indigenous knowledge.

Anyway, thanks for your input and acknowledging the unacceptability of this term.

— Reply to this email directly, view it on GitHub https://github.com/tekinged/missing/issues/4#issuecomment-1064684274, or unsubscribe https://github.com/notifications/unsubscribe-auth/AF2DJJBMUOKLI43MTXWA4EDU7KPNPANCNFSM5QNBLPUA . Triage notifications on the go with GitHub Mobile for iOS https://apps.apple.com/app/apple-store/id1477376905?ct=notification-email&mt=8&pt=524675 or Android https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.github.android&referrer=utm_campaign%3Dnotification-email%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_source%3Dgithub.

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Actually, my grandfather Ubal Tellei NEVER condoned calling his grandchildren anything regarding their skin tone. Please don't assume that people who are Palauan "bred" don't take offense to it and Americans don't. Neither are monoliths. I know plenty of Palauans and Americans regardless of skin color who find it offensive.

Please note that I'm not mad at any person here. I'm disappointed at the continual dismissal or making excuses that it's only offensive to this group or that group. It's always dangerous, disunitous when othering anyone.

Also, I noticed you called me "girl", maybe as a term of endearment? But the undertone, possibly subconscious, is still diminution. This is a case of intent vs impact.

Words are so powerful. When the beautiful brown people of my home call my skin the color of cut papaya or maggots you know what that drives a child to to? It makes her go out to do her chores in the farm or the ocean all day without sunscreen until she is burnt red and peels for two months. But she even schedules it to happen during the summer months when the sun is hottest and the bloody blisters from the burning won't stain her school uniform.

I wanted SO bad to be brown so that people would stop calling me names. Oh the years of therapy. We all have our post colonial struggles. Mine is mental health and obesity. Palauans who die of suicide, homicide, alcohol related deaths, and other ways of dying can be maybe prevented if we could just try a little harder to be more loving.

Words can be a balm or a scythe.

Thank you again for participating in this discourse.

[johnbent]

@s-o-u-a-n-g , thank you so much for sharing this. It takes courage to share things like this but I believe it makes the world a better place because it educates the world and makes it less likely that people in the future will hurt others in the same way. Thank you very much. And thank you @Gnalu for participating in this conversation in a sensitive loving way. Really makes me proud to be a part of this community.

[s-o-u-a-n-g]

@Gnalu I totally left out how thankful I am for your words. I interact more with you than my own Auntie Ulang who lives in Mass. Ke kmal mesaul el ulbang a ungil tekoi el mei er a ngak e ak kmal di ngiluu el me mereked. Aki kmal ngeltengat er a kau.

[Gnalu]

Souang, mousubes er Kemam, ak ayamar lomtechei er tirkel rokui tirremii a rengum komeng, Meral tekoi a omolekoi kmal beot el tuobed era ngor engdi ng Meral Diak dodengelii a berredel el mo er a chad me mousubes. Kau tial medengei a rechad er Belau a klaskokl e ko era olebechall Sel lou beltikerreng. Me mousubes.

Sending you hugs from Phoenix, I know it’s hard to let go and therapy helps a little but the invisible scars don’t go away and I’m so sorry for all the pains, emotional, mental, and physical pains that you went through including growing pains. As your cousin carrying the same name as your aunty, I love you and hope that someday you can forgive and slowly let go. ❤️❤️❤️

I’m glad to be of some help in this group in any way I can be and I am thankful and grateful that we extend our kindness to each other, changing the world to be more understanding and informed as one unit.

~Ulang aka Gnalu~

On Fri, Mar 11, 2022 at 7:40 PM s-o-u-a-n-g @.***> wrote:

@Gnalu https://github.com/Gnalu I totally left out how thankful I am for your words. I interact more with you than my own Auntie Ulang who lives in Mass. Ke kmal mesaul el ulbang a ungil tekoi el mei er a ngak e ak kmal di ngiluu el me mereked. Aki kmal ngeltengat er a kau.

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