Edit "brand_first_draft.md"

[jrthieke]

Hey Sarah, I just finished reading your Red Bull story. Here are some thoughts I had:

1. You say energy drinks have increased in popularity over the years. Maybe include a statistic or figure to verify that?
2. Do you have any information for Taurine? It seems to just be hanging at the end of your caffeine section without any further explanation.
3. Glucose is also a basic sugar; the two words are often interchanged in common speech. That might be worthy of note in your story.
4. If glucose breaks down naturally into glucruonolactone (check spelling: you spelled it two different ways), why would ingesting both at the same time be harmful? It seemed like an odd question, unless there is a reason you asked, in which case that would be good to put in the story.
5. Marshall’s B6 quote is a little awkward and hard to follow. Maybe see if he said it a different way that would go over better.
6. Sucrose also seems to be missing information. Are Taurine and Sucrose sections still forthcoming?
7. Structural note: make sure all items in a list have same structure. So like, if you start a bunch of sections with “B5 is helpful…” and “B6 is pyrodoxin” but then you start the B12 section “This is involved…” it doesn’t keep the same rhythm.
8. A quick grammar note: make sure to include commas after introductory clauses. Examples: “Because they’re all natural, I believe” and “According to Marshall, that means,” “However, when…”etc.
9. Final note, is this meant to be a sidebar or a standalone story? As a sidebar for a larger story (I believe others might be doing a story on energy drinks as well) this seems really good and apt. As a standalone story, it might need one more source, and each item should expand to at least one full paragraph, maybe two.

Hope these thoughts help you out in some way, and I’m looking forward to seeing how this shapes up in the magazine!